How do we choose when we have no understanding?

In the absence of any other information, humans tend to estimate the value of something by gauging the demand for it.

Good or Bad? Feelings verses Facts

Do you associate yourself yourself as a good person by down playing your own feelings and needs. Do you feel like a bad person when you put your needs first?

Why?

TYOA day 22

Hit training in the morning,  lots of incidental exercise,  food good,  maybe ate a tad too much,  over all felt good

Food 5/10
Exercise 6.5/10

TYOA day 21

The 3 weeks seems like it's been a very long time I've had my ups and downs but generally speaking I have improved fairly well a day like today is 1 of those days where I'm definitely not going to lose weight but I'm also not going to gain weight either it's a fairly standard day that you could keep up which is good.

Food 5/10
Exercise 4.5/10

Is radical change more painful than the pain in the now?

Is it more inhumane to make something change drastically even if it's for the better then to just leave it how it is knowing that they can handle it because of it handling it for such a long time?

TYOA day 20

fist day of the new job,  ate fairly well and exercised,  I have to in the morning otherwise it'll be a struggle mentally at work

8/10 food
5/10 exercise

TYOA day 18

Bit of a write off food wise, too much sugar and lunch fast food  a traveling day which is the explanation but not an excuse but exercised ... Ended the day fairly well with food

2/10 food
4.5/10 exercise

TYOA day 19

Too busy to eat and when I did it was very healthy at dinner

10/10 food
2/10 Exercise

TYOA day 17

I've just hit the 50 hour mark of my fast,  feeling really tried but feeling good! Aiming tomorrow morning to break it before traveling

Final day of fasting...  It'll be 65 hours without food at 8am tomorrow

Some exercise

10/10 food
5/10 exercise

TYOA day 16

Weight is steady at 96.4 but my lifestyle is feeling good and productive! Today is a fast day for the sins of the last day or two...  It helps me and my body recalibrate... It helps me stop craving junk,  I just start craving any food haha which means if the first food I eat after the fast is good/wholesome/natural,  that's what you want to eat, not junk.

Too good not to post

It's so hard to articulate this topic so I thought I'd post verbally...  This is not my wording.

As humans, we are most fulfilled when we are able to receive and give support. However, quite a few of us are in lopsided relationships—we either receive a lot of support or give a lot, and don't do very well balancing the two. If you constantly give support to others at your own expense, eventually this imbalance will negatively impact your life. Either you or the other unsupported members of your circle will begin to feel neglected. Maybe you receive recognition for being selfless and this is now your “normal” way of behaving. But the very word selfless should send up warning signals; paying less attention to ourselves and more attention to others puts us in a poor position to support others.

It may be that you are naturally “a giver” or that, through giving, you earned praise when you were growing up—“Oh, he’s so helpful,” or “She always thinks about others first. She’s so kind.” Certainly these traits are welcome, but not to the exclusion of one’s self. Remember: You should also receive support when you need it, and if you're not, it's time to examine why and start to rebalance the situation.

It is perfectly normal to do everything for your children when they are babies or toddlers. However, as they grow older, it's important to adjust this situation and encourage them to flourish and do things for themselves. So if you still run around after children who are 15, 16, or 17 years old, or drop your leisure pursuits at a moment’s notice to fetch or carry for them, the relationship is imbalanced. 

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The same is true of a friendship or partnership. If your friend or partner is going through a particularly stressful period, of course you want to support them. You may even give up some of your own time, pursuits, or desires in order to do so. But this will not be sustainable long-term, and as they get back on their feet, you need to return to your own routines. It is important that you do not give up everything in your life, regardless of how needful the person you want to support is. If you do, there will be no “normal” life to return to—you will have given it up. Meanwhile, the person you supported will no longer need your support and may happily return to their routine, leaving you flat. By all means, support someone else, but not at too high a cost to yourself or you may find yourself in a parasitical relationship that cannot be sustained.

The second type of support relationship is one where you constantly seek support.  Maybe you grew up with parents who did everything for you and so you are used to other people running around after you. You need to realize that in order to function as an adult, you must be able to do the majority of your living and working tasks yourself. It is perfectly reasonable to ask for help if you feel out of your depth, but don’t hand over the whole task or responsibility to another person, no matter how much you're struggling. When you do this, you disenfranchise yourself—and you learn nothing. Get the other person to show you what they would do in the situation, and then gradually take over the task yourself.

This will be hard if you have been encouraged to be “needy,” and had too much done for you. Remember that the whole time you are being “supported” by another person, you are not truly autonomous and will never be in complete control of your life. In a partnership, this control is something that is sacrificed to a certain extent because there are two of you involved. In a healthy relationship, this is negotiated, usually to the benefit of both partners, not at the expense of one.

As is so often is the case, balance is key. In any long-term relationship, there is give and take: At certain points, one person’s needs will dominate, but in a normal relationship the pendulum will swing back the other way and the supported will become the supporter. If this does not happen, the relationship changes to an unsustainable parasite-and-host situation. You need to watch out for this in order to support yourself and your partner, and to keep your relationship healthy.

TYOA day 15

Not a great day,  the last two days haven't been great...  Focusing again tomorrow...  Ended the day today fairly well though...  Rain is my explination for not exercising but it's not an excuse...

Food 2.5/10
Exercise 0/10

TYOA day 16

Only one meal but it was huge...  Some incidental exercise...

Update...  Had more food at 11  which I really didn't need too,  so I'll downgrade Food 4/10 to 1/10

Exercise 5/10

TYOA day 15

Lots of incidental exercise,  food was reserved, dinner was a little indulgent...

Food 6/10
Exercise 7/10

TYOA day 14

Guest rating
7/10 food...  More vegetables
7.5/10 exercise - highlights...  Large hill climb,  varied terrain (bush walking)

7/10 food...  Could have eaten a little less at dinner and earlier
8/10 exercise more intense than previous day but a little shorter

TYOA day 13

Portion splitting of food which was good...  Losing points for a Magnum Ice Cream. Even though I only had half a burger at lunch it was still 1 of those fast food esque burgers
Points for good self control and portion sizes at dinner
Guest rating 7/10 food
My rating 6/10

Exercise did a lot of walking and exploring about 4 kilometres

Guest rating 8/10 exercise
My rating 8/10

Slightly higher rating than what it will be in 6 months but a really good effort at this early stage thank you my love you're gorgeous I want to rub your feet

TYOA day 12

Birthday day!  Need I say more

2.5/10 points for not finishing dinner and wedges and only had two main meals

4/10 exercise

TYOA day 11

Birthday eve...  Excellent start to the day,  indulge that evening...  Pizza and champagne

4.5/10
8/10 exercise

TYOA day 10

A break day,  sort of...  I've had a good day but it's semi my birthday evening with my dad/family so let go a bit with pizza and chocolate...  I've held back a lot more than I have in the past,  so that's a good victory...  Even with that my rating is OK because of the rest of the day...

4.5/10 food
3/10 exercise

TYOA day 9

Excellent day,  Best one yet!

8/10 food...  Maybe lost points for portion sizes being a bit too large,  but didn't over eat across the day...  All good for natural and wholesome foods
8/10 exercise,  largely thanks to Pokemon Go... 
That rating is relative to where I'm at fitness wise...  In the future,  the hour long power walk will rate much lower,  needing more intensity and weight training

TYOA day 8

Really good day today food wise,  I'll give it a 9/10! Was just a tad better than yesterday... Whole natural foods,  no over eating,  good variety of vegetables, nuts, berries and fruit.

9/10 food
1/10 exercise
10/10 brain exercise (formal study, reading,  solving work problems and very productive)

TYOA day 7

Diet wise,  really well so far... If I didn't eat anymore,  I'm going for an 8/10 for the day! No exercise today so far,  need to do something light to top off a really good day!

Finished a good day,  lots of ginger tea (really just ginger slices with hot water haha) a couple of berries towards the end and a walk too...  Best day so far...

Summary of food
Brown rice small amount
Quinoa
Vegetables (7 types)
Fruit (4 types)
Flacseeds
Beans
Berries
Nuts
Ginger tea

Portion sizes a little high but only had 2 main meals not 3 ...

Food 8/10
Exercise 5/10

TYOA day 6

I don't feel like I had a good day but it wasn't that bad either...  Corn chips was my only non native/natural thing, although I ate too much in the middle of the day/3pm I'm not going to eat dinner...

Food 5/10
Exercise 2/10

TYOA day 5

Going really well so far,  clean eating,  lots of water,  just finished a HIT session...  Will see how the rest of the day turns out...  Keep at it,  you're doing great!

So the day didn't end as well as it started, pack of chips after shopping and a chai tea but did have a fresh juice,  lots of water ... So...

Food 5/10
Exercise 6/10 (lots of incidental activity and deliberate)

I'm 97 kg at the moment,  need to get to 95kg in a week for a sky dive (eek) I might do a fast

TYOA day 4

Feeling good,  keeping to the plan,  all but zero meat so far,  lots of fiber, whole foods,  nuts,  vegetables...  No exercise today so far...  Some things end up more difficult than you expect even though they should be simple,  very frustrating!!!!

Lost a bit of weight but those kinds of figures on the scales so early really don't matter too much, it's the bigger picture...

I ate way too much in the middle of the day but really recovered well this evening...  Didn't feel hungry,  so I didn't eat...  Just drinking some lemon water...

Eating 6/10
Exercise 0/10

TYOA day 3

Food 7/10 not bad,  could have been better
Exercise 1/10 in a car all day makes that score terrible...

Notes...  Be more prepared with better food...  Have tea or water if still hungry.

HIT training tomorrow before 11am

Draw a blank

I'd rather you be honest inside your own head than saying nothing with your lips

TYOA day 2

Feeling good,  fairly motivated,  1 km walk,  lots of water,  brown rice,  vegetables and nuts so far.

Last night I weighed myself at 99kgs I'll keep weighing to see how I'm going and to keep me accountable.  80kgs really suits me,  sometimes people say I look under weight at that level,  but 85 is the ideal...  Hell,  make it 84 so I have 15kgs to lose...  I've done it before,  I'll do it again.  Last time I became a vegetarian for 6 months and it worked amazingly well,  so I'm concious to not eat much meat and restrict factory produced food (obviously excluding washing and packing etc)

Been going well throughout the day...  Nearly had seconds at dinner,  served it up and put it back,  had water instead! Feeling proud...  Knowing I was going to post on this blog helped!

Update...  And after posting that,  my old man 'makes' me eat more...  It's hard to say no when food is shoved in your face however I have to learn how to say no...

The Nawing in my Head

Unhappiness comes from comparison of others. When you are compared to others you will lose,  and so will they,  there's always someone with a skill that's better than yours and you'll always have a skill that's better than there's. We just have to be the best person we can be and believe and hope that's enough for ourselves and others.

If disclosure beings connection,  then creating things you wouldn't disclose to others with someone must bring an even deeper connection.

Secrets withheld from one another create isolation.

A secret world that's a bit of a fantasy can be exciting,  personal and connecting...  But when you watch someone else do that it brings distance and loneliness.

All any of us want is to give and receive love unconditionally and feel safe to do so.

Take Your Own Advice (TYOA 1)

It's time to take my own advice,  I want and need to become more healthy,  lose weight and gain strength and fitness.  I do not lack in knowledge,  I do not lack in technique,  hell I do not even lack in experience,  I lack in action,  I lack in dedication and consistency.

So I am keeping myself accountable by posting here and being honest with myself,  I'm the only one who loses by being dishonest with myself.

I choose to take this path for several main reasons.
I value my mind more than my body,  but my mind relies on my health,  state of mind which is tied to my body,  you are what you eat,  exercise helps the mind be clear and sharp!
I value my girlfriend, Tess,  she deserves a healthy and head strong man who happens to also have a body which she is proud of.  I choose to do this because she accepts me where I'm at,  and that inspires me to be better.

I need to post my failures and my successes as they happen,  get up and do something about my situations,  be proud of my efforts and even if I stumble,  get back up and keep going.

I have 1 year till my partners major milestone birthday - I want to lose 20kg or if not losing that much,  at least converting to tone and muscle.

I think in 6 months I'll do really well if I keep the path.  In future posts I'll let you know what I'm up to and how I'm doing it...

To start I've done a 1.2km walk and I've eaten rice,  vegetables,  soy sauce cottage cheese and nuts with ginger tea and honey. Over ate a little bit,  need to serve in smaller bowls.  Drink water more if hungry.

I enjoyed my walk while watching 30 rock.

I finished brain training but need to do more HIT training each day,  especially seems it's short

Until next time!