Can you really have it all?

You can have it all,  but not all at the same time.

S. Phelps

Procrastinate

“Most procrastination is caused by either fear or conflict,” says Christine Li, a clinical psychologist specializing in procrastination. Even if we’re motivated to accomplish a task, fear—of failure, criticism, or stress—pits us against ourselves. We want to finish the project, but we also don’t want our fear to become reality. “This conflict makes it seem like it would be unwise or even impossible to move forward,” says Li, “which explains why we sometimes procrastinate even when it makes no sense to do so.”

Just do something for 5mins,  and if you feel like stopping after that,  you can.

How to last the distance

Joy will take you way further than gritted teeth.

Achieve the things you want in a really easy way

Achieve the things you say you want with this ridiculously simple trick.

If-Then plan + Coping plan.

If-Then
Having a trigger which activates the goal. If chocolate is offered to me I will say no...  If my alarm goes off, then I get up and exercise.

Coping plan
When I feel tried and don't want to get up and exercise,  I only have to get to the top of the driveway and if I still don't feel like it I can come back. When I really want to say yes to the chocolate I will go have a drink of water instead.

The formula for success

A bit of luck
A bit of skill
A bit of time
A bit of work
A bit of money
A bit of connections
A bit of timing
A bit of wisdom

What to do when life throws up problems

"When a challenge arises either play the game, change the game or don't play."
S. Phelps

Wanna be successful? Here's how!

Work, Sleep, Family, Fitness, or Friends: Pick 3

You can have it all. Just not all at the same time.

The Nawing in my Head

Unhappiness comes from comparison of others. When you are compared to others you will lose,  and so will they,  there's always someone with a skill that's better than yours and you'll always have a skill that's better than there's. We just have to be the best person we can be and believe and hope that's enough for ourselves and others.

If disclosure beings connection,  then creating things you wouldn't disclose to others with someone must bring an even deeper connection.

Secrets withheld from one another create isolation.

A secret world that's a bit of a fantasy can be exciting,  personal and connecting...  But when you watch someone else do that it brings distance and loneliness.

All any of us want is to give and receive love unconditionally and feel safe to do so.

Have Peace in Change

If life has taught me anything is that nothing stays the same, and there's not much you can do to stop it,  but there's lots you can do to slow it down. Be still.

Break up the routine, here's why.

Shake up the routine.

According to Sternberg, our interactions in close relationships tend to go along in well-worn grooves, called scripts. Most emotion is the result of some interruption of the script. Keep doing the same old thing, and you experience no emotion. But stop what you’ve always done, and, suddenly, someone feels. Sternberg says you can find out if a relationship is “live” by generating something unexpected, such as one of you going away o their own, or going on a vacation to a new place together. But sometimes it takes extreme action to realize how much intimacy there is, or was. Why not plan for occasional minor interruptions—so you don’t need a major one to wake you up?

The Truth About The Lie

If we can't understand the truth,  but can understand a lie, and because we punish someone more because we don't understand and reward them more when we do understand - is it no wonder we lie? And if the truth comes out,  it becomes a double punishment,  not understanding in the first place and not understanding why they lied to cover up what they don't understand - mind overloaded!

Nothing in life is as important as you think it is when you are thinking about it.

Nothing in life is as important as you think it is when you are thinking about it. This illusion applies to both delights and disappointments: You won’t be as excited about getting something you want once you get it, because once you get it, you will have it, and your attention will shift to other things.

When it's healthy to give up

It's said that we stay way too long,  the sunk cost fallacy theory,  where the fear of change is greater than the pain of remaining the same...  It takes a very strong and brave person to walk away when the facts are very clear, but the emotions are high.  Usually it's the other person's issues... You may 'trigger' the issues like when you say "nice day!" and they reply "what's so nice about it" and then spirals from there,  but it's important to remember we didn't 'cause' it as much as you on the inside or they out loud might want you to believe.  You may hurt them by doing what's best for you,  but you are harming yourself by not... We hurt a puppy by giving it a needle to save its life but we are not harming it...  Kicking it is harming.  I don't pretend to know you,  but I'm so proud of you! If that list is how you feel,  then it is fact,  and you have done something about that...  This is a big deal and your life will be much better in the long run because of it!

You've done the right thing!

False Envy

“Comparison is the thief of joy”

Do you look at others lives as your guide to where you should be...  Most people's lives are a lie...  Not to them necessarily but your perception of them.  Do you someone with a big house and a nice car and think they are successful....  Maybe they have uncontrollable debt,  or all of their children have disowned them,  or maybe they suffer from a serious condition.  There is so much we don't see,  we can't read minds,  we can't feel what they feel,  we don't know the costs of their life choices...  Don't envy someone if you're not prepared to make the sacrifices they made for their result...  Be you and who you are,  be kind to yourself, work on yourself and be proud at what you achieve.  Celebrate your successes, learn from your mistakes. Don't forget your past enjoy your present and focus on your future!

The success in failing

Challenging life.

"I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." — Michael Jordan