How can you tell if someone really knows what they’re talking about?

 Ask them what they “don’t know” about the subject. If they are as enthusiastic as they were telling you what they do know, you’ve got someone who can see enough to know what they can’t see yet.

You want something better than authenticity

Authentic is the wrong word and sending us down the wrong path.

What we want from others and our entertainers are; giving full attention to the moment. Nothing else matters. The person or entertainer may not feel like doing it before hand but deciding to show up and put on a show is much better than authentically showing their true feelings any day.

Change changes everything in unexpected ways

 When you ask someone to change, be careful. Usually you’re asking them to be more or do more. If they did succeed in changing to what you wanted, what then? More change? What happens when that succeeds? You and that person are now drifting away because in part you’re asking them to change so you don’t have to, you’re asking them to do more so you don’t have to do more. The divide gets larger. If this person really is doing all this changing and you’re not, aren’t you weirdly less now? Aren’t you falling behind? Aren’t you the stagnant one not capable of change? All the reasons you gave to that person in the first place to justify change, you are now yourself. 

Ok so maybe you think they were far behind your standards and now they’re about level. They’ll still have resentment or even contempt because they have movement, they are “better” or “more” than they were Yesterday, where are you at? The same. You can’t win unless it’s a journey together, you can’t get what you want unless you share the burden, different things perhaps but equal energy, equal struggle, equal hope and equal ownership. It doesn’t have to be equal in real terms it just has to be an attempt.

Stop asking people to change unless you ask in the same breath, “does this outcome interest you? what can i do for you? What can i trade with you? What can i do to help you? 

How do you know if someone knows what they’re talking about?

 The ultimate test if someone knows what they’re talking about.

How much time have the spent on that specific subject or at least thinking about it and what do they know they don’t know.

Mastery is about knowing what you don’t know.

Dick you

 If something takes longer than 30 seconds to start a process, you probably won’t start the process.

Fuck you Apple for putting frictions in place for things you don’t want us to do ie stuff that doesn’t benefit you.

Be

Be sincere, be brief, be seated

You're pretending you deserve what you have.

People would rather feel rich rather than actually get rich.

People would rather feel like they worked hard and earned their keep rather than actually do the kinds of hard work needed.

We'd rather face the pain we know rather than struggle to a better destination.

We'd rather pay the price of familiarity rather than the small cost of change.

Business as usual.... before it wasn't.

Charlie Boudreau is looking for recommendations
 
I'm looking to niche down. I am currently serving too many areas.
I'm struggling to settle in on a niche. Aside from picking a niche "I love", does anyone have any suggestions for niches that attract more clients than other niches or are easier to work with?
I'm currently debating on restaurants or cleaning services.

Sam Phelps
I could be spelling out the obvious but make a list of:
1. Businesses that work really hard to get consumers (easy to get leads and get pitches heard).
2. Businesses that have autonomy on local levels/authorised to spend.
3. Have a model which is scalable (or at least they have intent to).
4. High margins or monetise attention in other ways.
Restaurants for example tick three, hard to figure out the fourth without research.
Write down as many industries as you can and tick off which boxes they tick... The best place to start is categories actual ads you see going about your life - for example I see way too many insurance ads, way too many mobile gaming, gambling, alcohol, supplements, fitness and online courses lol so they all must have huge margins (advertising is worth the cost)
The only one I can think of which ticks all 4 at the moment is education - it's a bit of a gold rush at the moment, I think most of us will wake up in half a decade. But education traditionally, education to educators, education tech and of course... online course education.
Once you have the ones you least hate or most like, narrow down the subgenre. Insurance could be pet insurance, education could be STEM, restaurants could be local source only, cleaners could be natural cleaning products only etc.
Then go test the assumptions and get to know the people who you think matter.
Or you know, just go your original thoughts of restaurants or cleaning, because: why not.

Decision deciding?

There are no solutions, only trade offs.

Just because you feel like doing something, doesn't mean it's important.

Don't spend major time on minor things.

Who are you trying to impress? You might be doing it wrong.

History judges you by what you achieved.

Society judges you by what you seem.

Family judges you by how you make them feel.

This explains every argument ever had

What's going on when people fight, argue and disagree? I've noticed for years how many people are both right in an argument... how is that possible, how can we all be fighting over the same thing and yet all be right?
Or flip it around, the same people who could be both right are also both wrong... How can this be?

Because our fight is governed and justified by the parameters we set out for ourselves.

Here are those parameters.

There are only two platforms of communication:

1 Discussion
2 Debate

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These are filtered through four 'according to you' belief systems:

1 The world how it is (objectively)
2 The world how you think it ought to be
3 The world not being understood
4 The world 'how it is' but it just ain't so (perception ignoring objective reality).

-----

All arguments topics come down to these four categories:

1 My world (what I know and see)
2 'The' world ('facts')
3 Equality (the game today)
4 Equity (the game today, yesterday and tomorrow)

-----

These are personalised by three main feelings:

1 Why can't you be more like me?
2 Why can't you be more like what I understand?
3 Why can't you understand my pain?

-----

All motivations stem back to a deep original source...

1 Survival (including resources, status quo and power)

And/or

2 Legacy (including extra resources sex, extra power and purpose)

-----

Literally the fastest way to change someone's mind

If you can't 'thing/action X' 'time/space X, when/where can you?

It's really difficult for people to think one thing then immediately pivot to what you think.
Almost without fail there's a sentence which swings and I accidentally use it all the time.

Silly examples
If you can't close a lighthouse for painting during social distancing and winter time, when can you?

If you can't fart while going to the toilet, when can you?

In other words it challenges the person to go 'think of something better' and it's amazing how many people roll over and accept in that moment like no other phrase can.

Real examples might be you want pizza but someone else thinks that's unhealthy...
"If you can't have pizza on a Friday night after a hard week and home cooking all week, when can you?"

Are you worried about making the wrong decision or doing the wrong thing?

Most of the main problems come from not the choices you make or the things you do, but the choices you don't make and things you don't do.

Feel the opposite of uneasy

Match your temperament to the demands of your environment.

The way to make all of life safe...

'Help me become more courageous, help me forge my sword to slay the dragons along my road'.

Surprising confidence hack

Confidence is the acceptance of vulnerability.

You're avoiding something... it won't go away.

What you resist tends to persist.

You physically can't speak the truth?

Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes.

And if you you're not sure of the truth, at least don't deliberately lie.

They are stealing

When a person or place screws you over, not getting what you pay for like bad food at a supermarket. Then they offer you a refund....

Here's the thing...

You stole my money, you stole my time, you stole my energy. When you offer me a refund you've still stolen my time and energy.