Deny, deny, deny.

Denying a reality you don't like doesn't change the consequences of that reality.
Phelps

You are not as kind as you think you are.

If your kindness doesn't give the person receiving kindness any agency, voice or respect... It's not kindness.

kindness fails when it's disrespectful.

Sometimes we're using kindness for only selfish reasons... maybe to prop up our own image in the eyes of ourselves or of the people around us. Maybe it's control, maybe to make people feel the way you want them to feel.

Like most things, it's the honest motives that help determine, but unfortunately this is one of the easiest categories to deny because no one can really call you out... it's super ambiguous.

Old V Young - which version of 'you' knows best?

"When you were young, you knew better than the old, then when you got old you knew better than the young"
Phelps

Love Complexity

You're heart is in it when you're there but your heart isn't in it very often to be there.

State of mind is the relationship

You can arrive in a relationship before it starts and leave a relationship before it ends.

Silenced?

I think some people equate not being the only voice in the room as having no voice in the room.

Some comment I read.

Is it the end of the world as we know it?

http://qz.com/643497/we-are-witnessing-the-rise-of-global-authoritarianism-on-a-chilling-scale/

We are heading down a path where our world is so full! Our lives,  our time and space! There's a false sense of pressure, an urgency, everything is counting down,  a limited opportunity,  a fear of missing out,  comparing our lives to others,  expecting more,  wanting more, 'needing' more because if we don't have what we want and need, we are not happy - or more impacting - running away from unhappiness, running away from feeling inadequate, feeling unsafe, feeling vulnerable,  feeling mortal.

Does it surprise us that democratic majority humanity is acting the way it is? 'make my feelings better' 'make my world safer' 'make my problems go away' 'make my life better' all of those things 'but I don't want to think,  I don't have time to figure stuff out,  I don't care who else loses if I'm OK'

When some leader tells us what we want to hear,  we want to believe them,  we want the safety and memories of the past infused into a safe and secure future where you have everything you want and need... Even out of curiosity, why wouldn't you want to give someone a go?
Facts,  logic,  reason,  understanding,  they are ugly,  not fun, not the world we want...  Let's make the mess and get someone else to clean it up! Even if it costs us humanity.

Want more control over people? Don't do this!

Don't try and read minds - it can't be done!

The truth and the perception

Just because I spelt a word wrong,  doesn't mean I don't know how to spell it,  and just because I spelt it right doesn't mean I know how to spell it.

While 'giving', are we really taking?

Why do you give?  Here's a test,  if you got no gratitude,  would you give? And if you got no thanks the first time,  would you do it again? And if you got insulted the second time (even though you knew it was the right thing to do) would you give again? And one more time knowing you'd never see the results of your generosity and having gained no extra power by giving...  Would you keep giving that way?

False Envy

“Comparison is the thief of joy”

Do you look at others lives as your guide to where you should be...  Most people's lives are a lie...  Not to them necessarily but your perception of them.  Do you someone with a big house and a nice car and think they are successful....  Maybe they have uncontrollable debt,  or all of their children have disowned them,  or maybe they suffer from a serious condition.  There is so much we don't see,  we can't read minds,  we can't feel what they feel,  we don't know the costs of their life choices...  Don't envy someone if you're not prepared to make the sacrifices they made for their result...  Be you and who you are,  be kind to yourself, work on yourself and be proud at what you achieve.  Celebrate your successes, learn from your mistakes. Don't forget your past enjoy your present and focus on your future!

Love me like I do!

Sometimes the real stress cones from our desire to want someone to match our intensity of feeling over a subject matter. From extreme love to extreme hate and all the apathy in between.

Why it's not OK to cash in on tragedies.

In many Western cultures we judge someone on their actions and determin how harshly by their motive.  Big business aligning themselves with a tragedy happens frequently with relaxed casual connections through social media.  Woolworths in Australia aligned themselves with the ANZACs Story here
On the face of it,  it does seem to have good intentions,  but we need to stop and think.  What is there motive? Simple. Traffic,  clicks,  brand awareness/alignment and of course profit.  There is not one business out there that does good just because.  If they did,  we would not hear about it, and if they did,  it wouldn't be the business but the people in it doing it individually.  I don't care how amazing their marketing department is...  Any tragedy that no one asked their opinion on,  yet gives it anyway is all about money....  Shame...  For Shame.

Mind Reader I Am Not

We never truly understand what's going on in someone's head,  never assume you have someone all figured out,  we all are capable of being anyone or anything at any time,  for good or for bad.

Comfort in Pain?

I have a different angle thought....

If physical (coupled with thought) pleasure is more random and takes more and more to receive/enjoy it and our bodies change,  could physical pain be comforting because it's consistent? In a world and mind that is so unsure and inconsistent, could apart of the pain appeal be because it's guaranteed? Because it's simple and it's the same in any language?  And if you do get used to that level of pain,  isn't it much easier to control and increase the pain than to increase pleasure?
So if you are one of the individuals that 'get' this world and take delight in it,  in a way you are the luckiest of all because you'll enjoy it for the rest of your life if you choose... Guaranteed!

Inner world, outer world

What if you had no way of saying what you had to say,  or showing how you feel,  demonstrating your meaning or even having no way of letting others know you 'exist'

www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2014/10/14/it-was-being-buried-alive-what-its-have-locked-syndrome

Although this is the most extreme example,  I believe most of us in some way have trouble communicating ... And in the western world that my perspective comes from,  who ever articulates best is right...  But are they?  Just because someone is better at rationalization does that make them more right than the person that can't say what they're trying to say?