Work, education, money, status - thought about investing in this?

Invest in relationships.

How do you know what's left unsaid?

How many silent agreements do you have in your life?

Regret a decision?

If you made a past choice which didn't work out - if you made the choice with all your knowledge at your disposal, it wasn't a foolish choice.

People should be more like 'me'

Do you think everyone should be more like you?

If you said no, why do we then project how everyone should be all the time?

State of mind is the relationship

You can arrive in a relationship before it starts and leave a relationship before it ends.

Been hurt by someone lately?

Take a breath and acknowledge that 95% of what someone else does has absolutely nothing to do with you. Yes--even if you feel that they've talked about you, misused you or done you other wrongs, still their main concern isnot you. It's them. Trust this: realizing that other people with no "investment" in you also have no "interest" in you--and that their activity probably has nothing to do with you--is a big part of forgiving and being less paranoid. So spend extra time with this one idea:"Convince yourself that the other person is pretty ignorant when it comes to you and your feelings--and so, you need not worry about them!"

Why doesn't anybody love me?

February 14th… the love/hate day of the year… You are either reminded of what you have, or what you don't have.
We all have an internal desire not to just be loved, but also to be allowed to give love… When we miss an ex - we miss the right to love and be loved freely - we don't miss them/what made them become an ex. On this day, more people break up than any other day (according to Facebook). It's also the day that makes more people miserable than perhaps happy. Why? It forces us to be honest and real with ourselves, it makes us reflect on things we've avoided, thoughts we have buried and feelings we deny. If you are feeling lonely today, remember, you do have love in your life… from maybe a pet to maybe a parent - you can give love, you can bless others and I hope you receive love too! don't be afraid, you will find love… but love yourself first, learn how to be kind to yourself, "You only accept the love you think you deserve" so if you don't like yourself very much - you may never let in anyone enough to truly experience love and have trouble giving them love because you feel what you have is not enough… It is… if it's from the heart, from you and you meant it, it's enough! Learn your love language, (Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service) understand what makes you tick so you can help others love you in the way that speaks to you.
Be brave… be honest… don't settle…. be kind… be you, because you are enough.

Too good not to post

It's so hard to articulate this topic so I thought I'd post verbally...  This is not my wording.

As humans, we are most fulfilled when we are able to receive and give support. However, quite a few of us are in lopsided relationships—we either receive a lot of support or give a lot, and don't do very well balancing the two. If you constantly give support to others at your own expense, eventually this imbalance will negatively impact your life. Either you or the other unsupported members of your circle will begin to feel neglected. Maybe you receive recognition for being selfless and this is now your “normal” way of behaving. But the very word selfless should send up warning signals; paying less attention to ourselves and more attention to others puts us in a poor position to support others.

It may be that you are naturally “a giver” or that, through giving, you earned praise when you were growing up—“Oh, he’s so helpful,” or “She always thinks about others first. She’s so kind.” Certainly these traits are welcome, but not to the exclusion of one’s self. Remember: You should also receive support when you need it, and if you're not, it's time to examine why and start to rebalance the situation.

It is perfectly normal to do everything for your children when they are babies or toddlers. However, as they grow older, it's important to adjust this situation and encourage them to flourish and do things for themselves. So if you still run around after children who are 15, 16, or 17 years old, or drop your leisure pursuits at a moment’s notice to fetch or carry for them, the relationship is imbalanced. 

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The same is true of a friendship or partnership. If your friend or partner is going through a particularly stressful period, of course you want to support them. You may even give up some of your own time, pursuits, or desires in order to do so. But this will not be sustainable long-term, and as they get back on their feet, you need to return to your own routines. It is important that you do not give up everything in your life, regardless of how needful the person you want to support is. If you do, there will be no “normal” life to return to—you will have given it up. Meanwhile, the person you supported will no longer need your support and may happily return to their routine, leaving you flat. By all means, support someone else, but not at too high a cost to yourself or you may find yourself in a parasitical relationship that cannot be sustained.

The second type of support relationship is one where you constantly seek support.  Maybe you grew up with parents who did everything for you and so you are used to other people running around after you. You need to realize that in order to function as an adult, you must be able to do the majority of your living and working tasks yourself. It is perfectly reasonable to ask for help if you feel out of your depth, but don’t hand over the whole task or responsibility to another person, no matter how much you're struggling. When you do this, you disenfranchise yourself—and you learn nothing. Get the other person to show you what they would do in the situation, and then gradually take over the task yourself.

This will be hard if you have been encouraged to be “needy,” and had too much done for you. Remember that the whole time you are being “supported” by another person, you are not truly autonomous and will never be in complete control of your life. In a partnership, this control is something that is sacrificed to a certain extent because there are two of you involved. In a healthy relationship, this is negotiated, usually to the benefit of both partners, not at the expense of one.

As is so often is the case, balance is key. In any long-term relationship, there is give and take: At certain points, one person’s needs will dominate, but in a normal relationship the pendulum will swing back the other way and the supported will become the supporter. If this does not happen, the relationship changes to an unsustainable parasite-and-host situation. You need to watch out for this in order to support yourself and your partner, and to keep your relationship healthy.

Accidental Relationship Sabotage

Why do people rush into marriage? Why do they rush into living together or rush to having a family?
Why do people hold off getting married, or moving in together,  why do people resist even being in a relationship in the first place?

The answer to both why we speed up and why we slow down is the same.  Fear.

The reason you avoid being close to someone is to avoid being hurt.
The reason you rush into commitments is because you're locking things down before that person can get away.

The same thing is going on in both situations,  we are trying to have power and control over over a situation to avoid possible pain.  The problem is "he who fears he shall suffer,  already suffers what he fears".
The problem is,  the more you focus on the fear and what you don't want to happen,  the more you feed the beast. It's like quicksand, the more you do to prevent the pain you're trying to avoid,  the faster it makes you sink into it.

I don't blame people for how they behave... If there was a countdown to putting your hand on a hot plate, in that time,  wouldn't you do actions to try and avoid that outcome?

Swipe Dating and Why We Do It

"In the age of Tinder, Grindr, Happn, Bumble and many other dating apps that allow people to flip through potential dates like picking socks for the winter season, it seems not only romance has died, but also the respect needed to nurture healthy relationships. Is Tinder a symptom of our self-indulgent, self-absorbed, individualistic, lonely society or has it perpetuated a model in which every human interaction is need-based and transactional?"

— Mădălina Preda

Actually it comes down to fear...  We as creatures generally use fear as a guide to keep us alive. When we make it personal, it triggers all sorts of fears, men and women alike, so dating paradoxically is what brings the option of new life but we may 'die' in the process (according to the un-evolved part of our brain when triggered by fear). So as humans have done for thousands of years,  we try to make things safer... Our feelings guide our 'success' (even though flying on a plane is safer than a car and a kitchen is dirtier than a toilet), and in this context we have been able to remove fear and vulnerability through 'distance' which is achieved by 'safety in numbers'. Guys have used this approach for a while...  Have many girls being dated at the same time so it doesn't matter if one fails because there's others to fall back on and because you don't value one over the other, you don't care who comes or who goes.  Caring or not caring regulates emotions...  The more you care,  the more you fear losing,  the less you care... You guessed it,  the less you fear losing... It's also the fear of failure or wasting your time or feeling stupid...  If you invest in one person and it doesn't work out, it can evoke any number of the feelings above and some but having lots of people, it's just simple numbers,  some will come,  some will go but there will always be someone. Finally,  it makes us feel good,  even if the feeling is dripping with fraud, you feel loved or attractive, you feel wanted,  validated and accepted... We all want to matter and this is the fastest most convenient way to feel like it, and we all deserve to feel like we matter because we all do!

The 'Biological Clock' Paradox

It's psychological, cyclical warfare: The older you get, the more pressure you feel to get married. The more pressure you feel, the more you lose focus on your relationship. The more focus you lose, the less likely it'll work out. Your relationship loses. Marriage loses. You lose. 

Fear is hiding in places you don't think to look

The same fear of relationship pain is paralleled to the 'fear' (masked by lack of desire/stubborness) of receiving 'help'. Both involve opening up and risking the chance of being let down once you let them in.