Most people love you for who you pretend to be.

I found this random comment on trying to 'impress a potential partner'.

Just be yourself because whatever you try to hide or be will soon discovered.

That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending - performing. You get to love your pretence. It's true, we're locked in an image, an act - and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it, they feel like you're trying to steal their most precious possession.

It just stood out for me, not sure why

Why doesn't anybody love me?

February 14th… the love/hate day of the year… You are either reminded of what you have, or what you don't have.
We all have an internal desire not to just be loved, but also to be allowed to give love… When we miss an ex - we miss the right to love and be loved freely - we don't miss them/what made them become an ex. On this day, more people break up than any other day (according to Facebook). It's also the day that makes more people miserable than perhaps happy. Why? It forces us to be honest and real with ourselves, it makes us reflect on things we've avoided, thoughts we have buried and feelings we deny. If you are feeling lonely today, remember, you do have love in your life… from maybe a pet to maybe a parent - you can give love, you can bless others and I hope you receive love too! don't be afraid, you will find love… but love yourself first, learn how to be kind to yourself, "You only accept the love you think you deserve" so if you don't like yourself very much - you may never let in anyone enough to truly experience love and have trouble giving them love because you feel what you have is not enough… It is… if it's from the heart, from you and you meant it, it's enough! Learn your love language, (Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service) understand what makes you tick so you can help others love you in the way that speaks to you.
Be brave… be honest… don't settle…. be kind… be you, because you are enough.

Sluts are not sluts.

Maybe women shouldn't be told 'don't' to seeking the touch of a man regularly...  Maybe other girls judge and 'educate' their friends,  daughters,  sisters,  strangers.  And maybe women should stop coming to the defence of other women about how others comment on their body...  Why?  Well I've realised that we let in the world in different ways,  we learn different ways,  we value different things and find identity in things that may surprise ourselves. 
I've always wondered why some girls find offence to flattering their physical appearance while others value it...  Of course there's different degrees and contexts,  but without going through every detail,  there is a general pattern of some girls liking it more than others.  I've known for a while about identity being the root to most behaviors and choices,  and I've also known about the 'love language' concept.

If you are unfamiliar...  I got this list and definition from 5 love languages in no particular order.

Physical Touch

This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

Receiving Gifts

Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

So back to my point which I haven't really made yet.  Some women need...  Like really need,  physical touch...  So they're physical bodies are important to them maybe more than others...  Maybe they are an audio person too...  Likes praise on their physical points through sound and backed up with touch?  It doesn't mean they are a slut,  it doesn't mean they lack self control compared to others...  They just have a disposition...  We even learn and take in the world in 3 different ways,  through hearing,  seeing and or doing,  often one is much more important for the other two...  So leave chicks alone who like to touch...  Because we all have the same driving force.  To love,  and to be loved... In our own way!

Your childhood determines your love life later on.

From an article 'do opposites attract?' for me this direct question isn't as relevant as the other info it provides...  Here's some exerts I thought most relevant and eye opening to ourselves and our romantic choices...

Hudson and Fraley took their investigation an intriguing step further. Given that attachment fundamentally shapes how people function in romantic relationships, they wanted to test whether adult attachment style influences the association between partner similarity and relationship satisfaction. (The participants also completed an attachment questionnaire.)

Attachment develops from the relationship between infants and their caregiver, with particular respect to responsiveness and availability. The effects of early attachment are far-reaching, establishing how we perceive ourselves and others as we grow into adults. In broad terms, individuals who experience loving and consistent early caregiving developsecure attachment, while those who receive harsh and/or inconsistent treatment from their early caregivers develop insecure attachment.

****Insecure attachment breaks down into two types:

Those who are high on attachmentavoidance believe that others will not respond to their needs, and correspondingly have a negative view of others. They tend to avoid intimacy, and are ill at ease when they feel their partner is too close.Those who are high on attachment anxietyare preoccupied with how available others are, and have a negative view of themselves. They seek out intimacy and contact with others, and can often be cloying or “needy” in their relationships.

(Securely attached people are low on attachment avoidance and anxiety, and demonstrate higher levels of adjustment in their relationships.)

The results were striking. Highly avoidantpeople seemed to be most satisfied with their relationships when the personalities of the partners were moderately similar. The researchers interpret this finding as possibly reflecting a level of “counter-dependence” with which avoidant people are comfortable. Put another way, an optimal balance of similarities and differences may help avoidant people keep intimacy at bay.

But for highly anxious people, it was a different story. They experience greater levels of relationship satisfaction with partners who are either highly similar or dissimilar to them. Hudson and Fraley speculate that similarity offers anxious people the feeling of “oneness” that they crave with their significant others, while dissimilarity may encourage “reliant dependence” on their partners. For the anxiously attached, having a dissimilar partner may be a way to compensate for one's own shortcoming, say the researchers.

Read full article
http://psychologytoday.com/blog/head-games/201412/do-opposites-really-attract-its-complicated?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost