How do you know what's left unsaid?

How many silent agreements do you have in your life?

Are braggers insecure?

People like talking about things they like.

When to ignore and when to embrace change

Today is not deciding tomorrow, today is for grieving.
Today is not for grieving, today is deciding tomorrow.

Why some people are mostly normal, then go batshit crazy

It's incredibly taxing to be fighting demons day in day out and sometimes you need a rest by letting them win.

I forgot to remember I forget

Friend posted this comment...

“Man’s mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.”

My response
I agree... Observation though... I've been keeping a blog (this one) for [nearly] 4 years, on average 4 posts a month, basically it tracks what's important to me at the time, observations, thoughts, theories... It's amazing how much of it I forget, it's amazing how something which was important eventually becomes a distant memory, so I don't think all ideas stay 'stretched' some inevitably go back to how it was before thinking about it... and I'd never have realised this if I didn't experiment on myself.

I forgot to remember I forget

Responses

The information may become memory; which is a more peaceful way to exist; though the stretching of the mind is done at the point of learning; altering the minds original trajectory. Or dimension as that quote put it.

Your mind has expanded significantly in the past 4 years.

....

It sure has, and that's evident with the documentation... It's original purpose was to practice articulating and dividing complex thoughts and theories ... I did get better but I'm still a bit wordy... One day I'll have those light bulb one liners like the one which inspired this chat

Is this too much apart of who you are?

It is not necessary to be loyal to your suffering.

Why doesn't anybody love me?

February 14th… the love/hate day of the year… You are either reminded of what you have, or what you don't have.
We all have an internal desire not to just be loved, but also to be allowed to give love… When we miss an ex - we miss the right to love and be loved freely - we don't miss them/what made them become an ex. On this day, more people break up than any other day (according to Facebook). It's also the day that makes more people miserable than perhaps happy. Why? It forces us to be honest and real with ourselves, it makes us reflect on things we've avoided, thoughts we have buried and feelings we deny. If you are feeling lonely today, remember, you do have love in your life… from maybe a pet to maybe a parent - you can give love, you can bless others and I hope you receive love too! don't be afraid, you will find love… but love yourself first, learn how to be kind to yourself, "You only accept the love you think you deserve" so if you don't like yourself very much - you may never let in anyone enough to truly experience love and have trouble giving them love because you feel what you have is not enough… It is… if it's from the heart, from you and you meant it, it's enough! Learn your love language, (Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service) understand what makes you tick so you can help others love you in the way that speaks to you.
Be brave… be honest… don't settle…. be kind… be you, because you are enough.

Make it about you by not making it about you

Take a breath and acknowledge that 95% of what someone else does has absolutely nothing to do with you. Yes--even if you feel that they've talked about you, misused you or done you other wrongs, still their main concern isnot you. It's them. Trust this: realizing that other people with no "investment" in you also have no "interest" in you--and that their activity probably has nothing to do with you--is a big part of forgiving and being less paranoid. So spend extra time with this one idea:"Convince yourself that the other person is pretty ignorant when it comes to you and your feelings--and so, you need not worry about them!"

Why don't you just leave the abusive relationship?

If you don't understand why someone doesn't leave an abusive or violent relationship, think about a workplace. Those company expected hours build up to the point of being illegal, poor conditions,  not appreciated,  blamed for things going wrong, it stresses you out, you try really hard,  you hope it gets better, when you get tried of being treated this way for a while you stand up for yourself but then get punished even more, it seems like they're out to get you,  they make life difficult trying to try and make you leave,  but you try even harder to win their favor OR you become a hollow shell just drifting - either way,  you haven't taken the hint, so they find reasons to build a case against you until either you take the hint or they kick you out on your arse.

So why didn't you just leave before it all started? It never started and it never stopped,  it not easy to walk away from something when you feel you reply on it so much,  when you feel like tomorrow will be different, when you feel like you can fix the problem or it will just fix itself over time.  Yes some people know their worth and walk at the sign of trouble,  but for the rest of us,  we stay in that crappy job,  sometimes we put up with it our whole lives or go from bad job to bad job letting history repeat. It's a paradoxical abusive relationship,  like fascism is to communism.

So before you judge someone for not walking away from an abusive relationship, why didn't you walk away from your abusive relationship?

Anything which involves giving up a piece of your identity is one of the hardest things to do,  and when we have the ability to rationalize almost anything we want to, we'll always find a reason why it's worth living in hell so we don't have to say goodbye to a piece of ourselves.

Why we don't let ourselves be happy!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201507/5-reasons-we-dont-let-ourselves-be-happy

I'm going to throw out some of my favorite lines which can really make people think...
Most people would rather be unhappy than uncertain...  That's a big one because there's risks in doing things differently in order to be happier.
Another is we usually know how we DON'T want to feel rather than how we do... Meaning we ficus on avoiding rather than obtaining.
I agree with the points, there's a lot of identity tired up in not being happy,  or not wanting to do things that would go against your identity to obtain it.
For me, everything comes down to 2 motives for humanity - survival and legacy...  Every action and motive can be stemmed back to those...  Doing things that are hard/unfamiliar cause anxiety, this sparks the body into survival mode which is associated with fear, fear means you are in danger which challenges survival thus the likelihood of death!!!!!

And sometimes...  Just sometimes,  some people don't feel right,  unless they feel wrong.

When the person we're attracted to becomes unattractive

http://www.debriefdaily.com/relationships/not-attracted-to-wife/

My thoughts on this article about how a married man stopped being attracted to his wife as she gained weight.

First of all ladies,  this must be a terrible feeling and a major fear! I personally have had this happen to me,  not once,  but twice in my longest relationships...  They loved me but didn't find me attractive as time went on, they both literally said the words "I'm not attracted to you anymore"...  I'm old enough to know better now but when I was younger I just knew there were major problems with physical intimacy for a while leading up to it...
So here's the question...
Do we choose our family based on attraction? absolutely not,  what about friend work colleagues?  unconsciously maybe but probably not...  How bout just your friends,  or best friends? I'm guessing no. What do all of these have in common? You don't have to be attracted to them to have a good relationship,  but you do need to be attracted to them in a large way to desire physical passion. We're all attracted to different things and we can't fake it when we're not,  but that doesn't mean we don't love them...  It's complicated and really only the two individuals can come to a  decision on how to move forward. With me,  it meant the end of the relationship even though at the time I didn't want them to.

Final thoughts,  becoming unattractive is much more complicated than someone gaining weight,  rather its the personality of the person that starts to see themselves differently as they gain weight... Our outsides have a way of giving us a gimps what's on the inside - weight gain is one of many indicators that something is wrong, but not always... 
Most importantly, be the best you you can be for you,  regardless of size or the opinion of others.

ITS ALL YOUR FAULT... that's a lie.

When I worked at Lifeline, I noticed two distinct kinds of people...  The sort that blamed everyone and everything for their problems and the other type who blamed themselves for everything and everyone else's problems.
What an awful way to live,  to genuinly believe that it's all your fault all the time... Everyone else's failures are yours,  every problem exists because there's something wrong with you...
It's a strange paradox...  To believe you are the cause and effect of everything is to say,  you matter that much, almost god like in your influence on the world...  Yet these types of people by deed and motive are the most humble and generous people on the planet.
These people think about everyone else before themselves to the point that when really important things happen,  they can collapse under pressure because they just have nothing left to give...
We all need to take care of ourselves,  take responsibility for ourselves, not others, keep ourselves strong so we can choose to help others in times of need! Be good to yourself,  be kind...  Be OK with helping yourself.