If you don't understand why someone doesn't leave an abusive or violent relationship, think about a workplace. Those company expected hours build up to the point of being illegal, poor conditions, not appreciated, blamed for things going wrong, it stresses you out, you try really hard, you hope it gets better, when you get tried of being treated this way for a while you stand up for yourself but then get punished even more, it seems like they're out to get you, they make life difficult trying to try and make you leave, but you try even harder to win their favor OR you become a hollow shell just drifting - either way, you haven't taken the hint, so they find reasons to build a case against you until either you take the hint or they kick you out on your arse.
So why didn't you just leave before it all started? It never started and it never stopped, it not easy to walk away from something when you feel you reply on it so much, when you feel like tomorrow will be different, when you feel like you can fix the problem or it will just fix itself over time. Yes some people know their worth and walk at the sign of trouble, but for the rest of us, we stay in that crappy job, sometimes we put up with it our whole lives or go from bad job to bad job letting history repeat. It's a paradoxical abusive relationship, like fascism is to communism.
So before you judge someone for not walking away from an abusive relationship, why didn't you walk away from your abusive relationship?
Anything which involves giving up a piece of your identity is one of the hardest things to do, and when we have the ability to rationalize almost anything we want to, we'll always find a reason why it's worth living in hell so we don't have to say goodbye to a piece of ourselves.
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