Accountability vs Freewill

Where is the line? Where's the right balance? By you wanting more freewill, someone is losing there's. By submitting to accountability you are putting your faith in others who may only hack have their freewill in mind.

Where's the good balance?

The cost of the payoff

At some point everyone has the desire to 'take' deeper meaningful connections,  but not all are willing to 'give'.

Ask yourself,  can you really afford what you want?

Where stupid is actually smart

If someone says something so stupid it leaves us speechless/bemused, aren't we the stupid one,  just with extra range because of the fact we don't understand.

Mind Hack for Self Control

The less you want to do something the easier and faster it has to be, to not be a burden.
S. Phelps

Under Attack? Or Friendly Fire?

There's a difference between being attacked/blamed for something and someone grieving aloud/expressing their frustration and anguish
S. Phelps

"People can't give you what they don't have"

A couple of interesting quotes that got me thinking...

"People can't give you what they don't have"

How many times do we want something and want someone to give it to us when deep down we know they can't - like someone admitting they are wrong but they will never have the ability to see that,  or a mother wanting their child to be super grateful for the sacrifices she made,  but they'll never reach that realisation to the degree the mother wants, or the daughter wanting a close relationship to the astranged father when he's never had a healthy relationship in his life, or a woman who has been abused by a man and wants her partner to give back what she's lost...  Or maybe a husband wants his wife to understand him more, but she is who she is and would have to change who she is to understand or 'get him' more... Which leads me to an interesting second quote...
Antero Alli, an obscure author, wrote, “communication is only possible between equals"
Do you agree? I try to learn how to think dumber so I can communicate with 'dumb' people...This quote sums up what I am trying to do,  I was trying to be like the person I wanted to communicate with... Maybe that's why so few can communicate in a relationship, many seem unbalanced,  which we jokingly describe as 'who wears the pants' with that quote alone you are saying you are not equal,  one has power while the other follows... Maybe it's time to be equal,  and if you can't, try to be equal in the moment...

When the person we're attracted to becomes unattractive

http://www.debriefdaily.com/relationships/not-attracted-to-wife/

My thoughts on this article about how a married man stopped being attracted to his wife as she gained weight.

First of all ladies,  this must be a terrible feeling and a major fear! I personally have had this happen to me,  not once,  but twice in my longest relationships...  They loved me but didn't find me attractive as time went on, they both literally said the words "I'm not attracted to you anymore"...  I'm old enough to know better now but when I was younger I just knew there were major problems with physical intimacy for a while leading up to it...
So here's the question...
Do we choose our family based on attraction? absolutely not,  what about friend work colleagues?  unconsciously maybe but probably not...  How bout just your friends,  or best friends? I'm guessing no. What do all of these have in common? You don't have to be attracted to them to have a good relationship,  but you do need to be attracted to them in a large way to desire physical passion. We're all attracted to different things and we can't fake it when we're not,  but that doesn't mean we don't love them...  It's complicated and really only the two individuals can come to a  decision on how to move forward. With me,  it meant the end of the relationship even though at the time I didn't want them to.

Final thoughts,  becoming unattractive is much more complicated than someone gaining weight,  rather its the personality of the person that starts to see themselves differently as they gain weight... Our outsides have a way of giving us a gimps what's on the inside - weight gain is one of many indicators that something is wrong, but not always... 
Most importantly, be the best you you can be for you,  regardless of size or the opinion of others.

Love Is Not All You Need!!!!!!

Someone who has depression can’t function with someone who is anxious

Someone who has anxiety can’t function with someone who is depressed

Someone who is attached can’t be happy with someone who is detached

Someone who is detached can’t be happy with someone who is attached

Someone who is intense will struggle to relate with someone who is chilled

Someone who is chilled will struggle to relate with someone who is intense

Someone who wants to hide away can't be with someone who wants to be seen

Someone who wants to be seen can't be with someone who wants to hide away

Someone who works this way, will cause quarrels with someone who works that way

Someone who works that way, will cause quarrels with someone who works this way

Someone who likes action and adventure will clash with someone who likes peace and routine

Someone who likes peace and routine will clash with someone who likes action and adventure

Someone who values deep thinking can’t be content with someone who values care free

Someone who values care free can’t be content with someone who values deep thinking

Someone who has a life map planned to go east, can’t travel with someone who plans to go West

Someone who has a life map planned to go west, can’t travel with someone who plans to go East

Someone who wants to just be, can’t exist with someone who just wants to be somewhere else

Someone who wants to be somewhere else can’t exist with someone who just wants to be

Someone who needs to fly in the sky will not find delight travelling underground

Someone who needs to dig underground will not find delight flying in the sky

Someone who speaks this language can’t speak to someone with that language

Someone who speaks that language can’t speak this language

Someone who believes this is how you should live, can’t live with someone who believes this is how you shouldn't live

Someone who believes this is how you shouldn't live can’t live with someone who believes this is how you should

Someone who finds pleasure in pleasure can’t indulge with someone who doesn't find pleasure in pleasure

Someone who doesn't find pleasure in pleasure can’t indulge with someone who finds pleasure in pleasure

Someone who values security externally will not feel secure with someone who values internal security

Someone who values internal security will not feel secure with someone who values external security.

Someone who believes their love is enough can't be with someone who believes love is not all you need.