Comedy Evolution

If a big part of comedy is the element of surprise,  unpredictability, random, observation from a distance...  Then is it a surprise that we are less funny to our family/partner? Maybe it's something else,  maybe we don't care as much to try? Maybe we try too hard? Why are we not as funny in a couple after a while? Or are we just as funny but got used to it? Expected.

Change everything to suit us not changing

We spend so much time trying to charge everything around us while we stay fixed, why don't we just adapt to our surroundings?

Do Women Really Want Equality?

Do women really want equality?

https://medium.com/@NikitaCcoulombe/do-women-really-want-equality-4374910f2236#.f5qqea2os

A productive headline for sure,  which is why I clicked,  but turns out to be a well written article.
This is more about surface life rather than deep wounds from the past or personal incidences man v woman.

For me and my thoughts over the years I'd say 80% I agree with (8 out of every 10 statements)
I still think the ultimate goal for all genders is to have choice, we don't want our past to stand in the way of what we want, we don't want the present to stand in the way of what we want,  and we certainly don't want to see someone get what they want while we go without because of things we didn't choose (gender, age, race, sexual orientation, religion) as long as our choices don't hurt others for our gain (which is how we got inequality in the first place) then choice is equality definition. Let men and women have their choice,  let's have that kind of equality.... So do women really want equality?
Yes.

How Do You Know When To Trust?

How do you determine trust? How do you know when someone is trustworthy; worth giving time to; investing in; sharing with? What is the silent measure and how is it gained and lost? What are the thresholds between caution and carelessness, protection and paranoia?

Short answer...  We don't, none of us do, but to not trust on even basic levels would mean the end of your life, I trust that the house I am in does not collapse, that the food I eat is not poison, that the car coming the other way doesn't crash into me...  So why do I trust those obvious things but not little things...  Well conditioning mainly but at the heart of it trust is two things coming together...  Patterns and accountability. I trust my house, my food and my fellow drivers won't kill me because it hasn't happened yet out of a large amount of experience and even if something dose happen it's so rare that it could be considered an anomaly (but for some even one time is enough to break the trust, depending on a variety of factors for a different topic). The second reason of accountability is the most reliable method of trust...  There's an expression "follow the money" which sums this up perfectly. Why does my food not poison me? Because the people providing it to me stand to lose more than me,  why does the car divers don't try to kill me? Their lives are more important than mine. Why does my house not collapse over my head? The people involved stand to lose to much if they don't do it correctly and same with all the people's jobs to keep these people accountable, they can lose their jobs and income, their ways of life.
So after seeing some patterns and following the thread of accountability also known as "what's in it for them" by lying to you they stand to gain no benefit, then your fine. If I had not such a complicated answer I'd probably be a lot richer or be a secret government agency spy...

If you want to catch a liar don't try the body language crap and eye position stuff,  it's too floored and means multiple things (like looking up is the brain activating visual information which yes could be creating a story in order to tell you back, but much more likely it's recalling things you've already seen)

If you really think someone is lying to you,  get them to tell their story in reverse order, if they made it up on the spot, it's hard to work in reverse linear, but not too hard if it's legit. It's a CIA trick.
Happy liar hunting y'all! 

The vague is much more dangerous

Quantifiable sins are judged harsher than non quantifiable misdemeanours, but the latter is much more devastating, destructive and deadly - these are very rarely resolved as no one can really grasp what actually is the problem.

A true example would be difficult as I would try to explain a non quantifiable example and if i succeeded in explaining, it would actually be
quantifiable... but think of it like this, a non
quantifiable sin all you can see is the symptoms but can't diagnose the disease.

A question is more powerful than a statement

Do you have to answer a question asked to you? If not,  how do you not without being a political parrot.
Does that mean there is power in the question,  people are forced to acknowledge you if you ask them a question? Could you find a way to ask a question to get them to say what you want?
Power in the question especially if silence is not an option.

Being Right

Am I right because I convinced them I'm right,  or am I actually right? ...  Does it matter? Should it matter?

Do Ignorant People Know They Are Ignorant?

I read one of those quotes or lessons in the form of a picture/infograph and it said

>>>THINGS PEOPLE DO NOT CHOOSE:

*SEXUAL ORIENTATION
*MENTAL ILLNESS
*GENDER IDENTITY
*DISABILTY
*RACE

>>>THINGS PEOPLE DO CHOOSE:

*TO BE IGNORANT AND JUDGE

GET EDUCATED!!!

produced by Mental Health Awareness Australia

I like this,  but I don't know if the last point is true... 
Ignorance definition: lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated.
And judging definition: form an opinion or conclusion about

You can't choose your 'development guardians', the teaching and experiences they provide is what's known as conditioning.  It's like the Stephen Fry intelligence sliding scale...  If you ask someone if they are intelligent,  an unintelligent person will say yes while an intelligent person has the intelligence to know how little they know and will answer no. How do you know what you don't know? What's my point?
I don't think a lot of people do choose to be ignorant, because they don't know they are,  if they knew,  it's not ignorance, isn't it implied by the meaning "not knowing" and judging is exactly what every human being does, by definition,  'form an opinion or conclusion about...' when and how did any of us get to the opinions or conclusions we have? Yes of course they have more of the possibility of opportunity to choose, than the more 'hard-wired descriptions' (race etc) but a choice is only in existence when there is multiple possibilities and that can only exist if recognised.  So if you can't recognise because of genetics (intelligence/chemical make up),  cultural or social reinforcements and especially conditioning,  then isn't it possible that there is no capacity for choice for SOME people especially if never had the opportunity to be taught by someone who can speak their 'language'?
Maybe the choice is not with them,  but with us? If we stop to ask why is someone 'ignorant' when it seems so obvious to us (and others) than as the knowing ones,  isn't it our responsibility to educate? It would be a laughable notion that the student tells the teacher what they will learn,  yet I feel like that's what we are asking 'ignorant' people to do "you should get educated" we say. If we think that they should do as we do, take our word for it and not give them a reason to change,  aren't we just as 'ignorant' as them? Find a way to get to know why they came to the conclusions they did and find out their fears,  their motivations, their knowledge of what they do and don't know, their identity might have been chosen for them a long time ago. There's plenty of things we think we know and stay with that until presented with new information, time, a new feeling, abstract proof, major event or just sheer persistence and reinforcements... Because how do we know what we don't know? ... You know :-p

If anyone disagrees, that's OK,  I'd like to get to understand your point of view because you might teach me something I didn't know or didn't consider :-)

How To Worry Productively

Why do we worry? Is it to try and plan and anticipate a situation?
You can either plan,  or you have enough experience not to, both make you equipped for the pending situation.  This is why we worry,  it's our way of 'planning' for up and coming events. But what if you're already prepared, what if you already know what to do but you don't know it? What if you can't actually plan for the event your anticipate and you're already prepared as much as you can be. What if the best strategy is to deal with something in the moment because you have enough experience to handle it better than any 'preparation' could do?

I know what I don't want to feel like!

We may not know how we want to feel, but often we do know how we don't want to feel! Maybe that's why we don't chase love and happiness,  maybe that's why we are scared and have fear of failure or rejection, maybe it's easier to know what we don't want to feel so we act on what we know,  many would rather be unhappy than uncertain

Emotional Travel

If I'm here,  and your there,  who travels to whom?  And if you are to 'meet halfway' can it be argued we are now nowhere? Or will nowhere become somewhere?

Are We Ever Wrong?

Something to think about...

http://www.nova1069.com.au/best-web/why-everyone-should-have-dash-cam

Does she believe she's in the right,  if so how did she come to that decision? Or on some level she's lying to herself but believes her own lies? Or simple denial, wishing it to not be, (or is that lying?) Or is it as simple as the belief everyone else is the reason bad things happen to her and she's just adopted this aproch for all areas of her life? Is there another option?

Hurting people hurt people, hateful people hurt even more

NO JAIL TIME FOR 'SMALL TIME' DRUG DEALER

http://www.northerndailyleader.com.au/story/3201504/no-jail-for-small-scale-drug-dealer/?cs=157

One of my 'friends' posted a comment to this (above) article - here is the comment she made full:

Absolute bullshit you do the crime you should do the time I dont have any sympathy or time for anyone who sells or does drugs put the bitch in jail fuck her she deserves to rot in jail no matter how much she supplied dealed


Let's stop and think for a second... the first part is an expression over her emotion and dissatisfaction of the situation - fair enough - clearly it violates her identity on some level... but the next part...
"put the bitch in jail fuck her she deserves to rot in jail no matter how much she supplied dealed [sic]"

I translate that to meaning - 'regardless of the degree of your crime, i want you to die in jail, and not just that I want you to die, but you deserve to die regardless of the degree of crime'

Hurting people hurt people, hateful people hurt even more people! Lets say selling drugs are hurting people (that's a whole other topic for another day drugs vs anything else we use to escape reality and alter our minds) does it really help saying 'kill them'? does anyone want to know why she ended up dealing in the first place? Was she abused as a child, was she raped as a girl, was she outcast from society as a women because she lacked 'paper smarts' was she discriminated against because of her race, or social economic position, did she have a child early in life.... or does any of that not matter? should she "rot in jail regardless". And if a judge, a lawyer or doctor do drugs and 'deal' (providing to other friends colleagues) should they too rot in jail? or somehow because they've got there 'life together' on they outside they should somehow be spared? That's class discrimination if you answered in the affirmative.

Hurting people hurt people, hateful people hurt even more people! Do you make the world a better place by hating on the people that hurt it?

Mind Reader I Am Not

We never truly understand what's going on in someone's head,  never assume you have someone all figured out,  we all are capable of being anyone or anything at any time,  for good or for bad.

Are we all selfish?

I wonder if there's anyone who sees a photo with themselves and others in it,  and look at the other people before they look at themselves?  And if that kind of person exists,  would they tell us? Would they know to tell us?

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Submitted by Simon Says on December 16, 2014 - 4:31am

That enemy is fear ... anything else is a rationalisation of fear; fear given a narrative ... and all narratives are dysfunctional if you cannot see through to the fear behind them all.

Fight the change, be the change

Brain burning...  My term for something that is so impacting, you are never the same again (big or small,  better or worse) it's much easier to change this way than just wanting it and willing it.
Willpower is hard to make work for us...

http://lifehacker.com/5662132/youve-got-a-limited-supply-of-willpower-so-use-it-wisely

One of many anecdotal articles... I've seen hard evidence papers but can't find them right now.

Can you force a 'brain burn'? Or is a key ingredients of the burning surprise?

I had an event... nay, a sentence that changed me, very unexpected... Like a mirror i hadn't looked into for a while,  someone reflected a part of me that i hadn't noticed...  Once pointed out though,  it was quite evident. I couldn't not ignore it even if i wanted to because of its 'brain burning' properties...  Am I better or worse? Depends on your point of view,  but factually, definitely different.

We all have a sense of who we are (regardless of whether we can articulate it or not) and if that thought of ourselves is challanged and we accept the new premise... It can literally change our lives... For better or worse,  big or small.  Keep open minded to keep the opportunities of growing alive. By the way... open minded is the Willingness to change or accept a point of view based on facts or lack their of.

Sluts are not sluts.

Maybe women shouldn't be told 'don't' to seeking the touch of a man regularly...  Maybe other girls judge and 'educate' their friends,  daughters,  sisters,  strangers.  And maybe women should stop coming to the defence of other women about how others comment on their body...  Why?  Well I've realised that we let in the world in different ways,  we learn different ways,  we value different things and find identity in things that may surprise ourselves. 
I've always wondered why some girls find offence to flattering their physical appearance while others value it...  Of course there's different degrees and contexts,  but without going through every detail,  there is a general pattern of some girls liking it more than others.  I've known for a while about identity being the root to most behaviors and choices,  and I've also known about the 'love language' concept.

If you are unfamiliar...  I got this list and definition from 5 love languages in no particular order.

Physical Touch

This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

Receiving Gifts

Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

So back to my point which I haven't really made yet.  Some women need...  Like really need,  physical touch...  So they're physical bodies are important to them maybe more than others...  Maybe they are an audio person too...  Likes praise on their physical points through sound and backed up with touch?  It doesn't mean they are a slut,  it doesn't mean they lack self control compared to others...  They just have a disposition...  We even learn and take in the world in 3 different ways,  through hearing,  seeing and or doing,  often one is much more important for the other two...  So leave chicks alone who like to touch...  Because we all have the same driving force.  To love,  and to be loved... In our own way!

Is Helping Hurting?

A radical notion...  Is helping causing more problems than it solves?  What is 'helping' anyway? The dictionary defines it as; make it easier or possible for (someone) to do something by offering them one's services or resources.
But who decides who needs it,  or the definition of 'easier'? Why do we help?...  And is helping really helping if we do it to help ourselves more? If we help based on our perspectives...  Maybe we will do more harm than good...  If we asked people how they wanted to be helped instead of deciding your way of helping and accepting their way...  But that starts to lead to a different topic, where is the line between helping and being used? Where someone doesn't need help,  but uses as an excuse to be lazy or get further ahead.  Such a simple concept,  or so I thought,  but sounds like something under the surface that is very very complicated.

Your childhood determines your love life later on.

From an article 'do opposites attract?' for me this direct question isn't as relevant as the other info it provides...  Here's some exerts I thought most relevant and eye opening to ourselves and our romantic choices...

Hudson and Fraley took their investigation an intriguing step further. Given that attachment fundamentally shapes how people function in romantic relationships, they wanted to test whether adult attachment style influences the association between partner similarity and relationship satisfaction. (The participants also completed an attachment questionnaire.)

Attachment develops from the relationship between infants and their caregiver, with particular respect to responsiveness and availability. The effects of early attachment are far-reaching, establishing how we perceive ourselves and others as we grow into adults. In broad terms, individuals who experience loving and consistent early caregiving developsecure attachment, while those who receive harsh and/or inconsistent treatment from their early caregivers develop insecure attachment.

****Insecure attachment breaks down into two types:

Those who are high on attachmentavoidance believe that others will not respond to their needs, and correspondingly have a negative view of others. They tend to avoid intimacy, and are ill at ease when they feel their partner is too close.Those who are high on attachment anxietyare preoccupied with how available others are, and have a negative view of themselves. They seek out intimacy and contact with others, and can often be cloying or “needy” in their relationships.

(Securely attached people are low on attachment avoidance and anxiety, and demonstrate higher levels of adjustment in their relationships.)

The results were striking. Highly avoidantpeople seemed to be most satisfied with their relationships when the personalities of the partners were moderately similar. The researchers interpret this finding as possibly reflecting a level of “counter-dependence” with which avoidant people are comfortable. Put another way, an optimal balance of similarities and differences may help avoidant people keep intimacy at bay.

But for highly anxious people, it was a different story. They experience greater levels of relationship satisfaction with partners who are either highly similar or dissimilar to them. Hudson and Fraley speculate that similarity offers anxious people the feeling of “oneness” that they crave with their significant others, while dissimilarity may encourage “reliant dependence” on their partners. For the anxiously attached, having a dissimilar partner may be a way to compensate for one's own shortcoming, say the researchers.

Read full article
http://psychologytoday.com/blog/head-games/201412/do-opposites-really-attract-its-complicated?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost