Just because you feel like doing something, doesn't mean it's important.

Don't spend major time on minor things.

It's an explanation, it's not an excuse.

A comment to 'when men raise their voice, it's because they feel they aren't being obeyed'.

There might be two different things going on here (we're going to leave nature debates out of this, super complicated), sometimes these two are combined, sometimes not.

One is conditioning based on culture, upbringing - just seeing it as that's just how it is. There's no rhyme or reason.

So the good news is we rebel against about 1 in 5 nurtured habits as we become adults, so 20% have a chance to break free 'easily' while the other 80% will need social cues and relearning, which is really difficult, but not impossible.

The second is much worse because it comes from a place of fear. Fear of what? Being found out. Imposter syndrome. How is that relevant in relationships and interactions?

Lucky you, you're about to find out - this is a pattern amongst all people across all sorts of genres, it just so happens this genre and these people are far more damaging in the now, and across generations. So what are they afraid of exactly, what are they hoping no one finds out about?

Let me ask you this? Do you love yourself? Do you even like yourself? Would you enjoy spending all week with you?

For some, they do like themselves, cool! For others, they don't, at all. When someone likes or even loves the person who hates themself, after a while they start to feel like they have to keep up an act, because if the person truly got to know them, they'd see what you always feared.

Fear. They are in a way, incompetent of being themselves. Think of an incompetent boss or manager, same behaviour, but not the same level of personal destruction (usually). We're not very good humans when we're scared. Fear - it's not rational, it's not considered, it does not pick up on subtlety and it does not conform to social expectations. It's not an excuse, it is an explanation.

Explanations are needed to inform the direction of change. Don't get furious, get curious. And yet furry let's us know something is wrong, so the path for some is furry, it let's others know things are not ok and that's just as important... But furry can't explain why, curiosity does.

When someone doesn't know who they are, what they stand for, who their identity is, they are always going to feel like they're pretending, and for many, they will lash out when they feel like they're being exposed as the fraud human being they feel they are.

So the next time anyone yells at you, see if there is fear in their eyes while they're getting angry over 'nothing'.
It's only an explanation, it's not an excuse.

"Sam, please, we're just having some observational truth bomb pitchfork media meme times." #DontBringFactsToAFeelingsFight

The best emotion for drive?

Passion is no match against fear.

What makes something 'normal'?

Apathy is the backdrop of normal.

Phelps

Good or Bad? Feelings verses Facts

Do you associate yourself yourself as a good person by down playing your own feelings and needs. Do you feel like a bad person when you put your needs first?

Why?

Regressive Feeling Revealing Progression

Instead of first,  wait last.
Instead of revealing feelings in the middle of them...  Process them and when their impact has died down reveal then,  even though we feel like blurting it out in the moment, we can still reveal and disclose things but not when they're going to cause more harm than good.

Sharing feels always helps with inner peace but can sometimes cause otter peace,  you can have both, just delay the sharing so the feelings become a story rather than a moment.

I know what I don't want to feel like!

We may not know how we want to feel, but often we do know how we don't want to feel! Maybe that's why we don't chase love and happiness,  maybe that's why we are scared and have fear of failure or rejection, maybe it's easier to know what we don't want to feel so we act on what we know,  many would rather be unhappy than uncertain

I forget

It scares me how much we really forget and how our memories are altered by our feelings

Creativity Slavery

Why do we want to control creativity?  Are we scared. I think because people don't know how or where they get their thoughts,  they fear that one day they'll lose it...  That's a real fear, Sting from the band The Police, has the fear of a blank note pad...  That fear of one day you just 'loose it'. It's interesting that kids don't have this fear...  Well not instinctively...  Its beautiful to just create and not worry about the end result,  just do it for the enjoyment of.

I think...  I think...  The worst thing you can do is have something spacific in mind and chase that...  Because you could be chasing your whole life,  chase the feeling instead!