Just because you feel like doing something, doesn't mean it's important.

Don't spend major time on minor things.

Are you worried about making the wrong decision or doing the wrong thing?

Most of the main problems come from not the choices you make or the things you do, but the choices you don't make and things you don't do.

The way to make all of life safe...

'Help me become more courageous, help me forge my sword to slay the dragons along my road'.

Surprising confidence hack

Confidence is the acceptance of vulnerability.

You physically can't speak the truth?

Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes.

And if you you're not sure of the truth, at least don't deliberately lie.

Is why an important question all the time?

Suspend your need for understanding.

What if we had movement's to let things exist without the need for it to make sense?  If only for a little bit.

You are not as kind as you think you are.

If your kindness doesn't give the person receiving kindness any agency, voice or respect... It's not kindness.

kindness fails when it's disrespectful.

Sometimes we're using kindness for only selfish reasons... maybe to prop up our own image in the eyes of ourselves or of the people around us. Maybe it's control, maybe to make people feel the way you want them to feel.

Like most things, it's the honest motives that help determine, but unfortunately this is one of the easiest categories to deny because no one can really call you out... it's super ambiguous.

You're faster and slower than you think you are

We over estimate how fast we are in the short term, we underestimate how much we can achieve in the long term.

"We over estimate how much we can do in a year and under estimate how much we can do in 10 years".

Post truth affirmation categories

There's only 4 arguments on the internet
1 my world (what I know and see)
2 'the' world ('facts')
3 equality (the game today)
4 equity (the game today, yesterday and tomorrow)

New addition to this in 2019

These are filtered by
1 the world how it is
2 the world how you think it ought to be
3 the world being not grasped
3 the world 'how it is' but it just ain't so

Life's unfair?

Be grateful you have something worth complaining about

People should be more like 'me'

Do you think everyone should be more like you?

If you said no, why do we then project how everyone should be all the time?

The cost of the payoff

At some point everyone has the desire to 'take' deeper meaningful connections,  but not all are willing to 'give'.

Ask yourself,  can you really afford what you want?

Procrastinate

“Most procrastination is caused by either fear or conflict,” says Christine Li, a clinical psychologist specializing in procrastination. Even if we’re motivated to accomplish a task, fear—of failure, criticism, or stress—pits us against ourselves. We want to finish the project, but we also don’t want our fear to become reality. “This conflict makes it seem like it would be unwise or even impossible to move forward,” says Li, “which explains why we sometimes procrastinate even when it makes no sense to do so.”

Just do something for 5mins,  and if you feel like stopping after that,  you can.

Your childhood determines your love life later on.

From an article 'do opposites attract?' for me this direct question isn't as relevant as the other info it provides...  Here's some exerts I thought most relevant and eye opening to ourselves and our romantic choices...

Hudson and Fraley took their investigation an intriguing step further. Given that attachment fundamentally shapes how people function in romantic relationships, they wanted to test whether adult attachment style influences the association between partner similarity and relationship satisfaction. (The participants also completed an attachment questionnaire.)

Attachment develops from the relationship between infants and their caregiver, with particular respect to responsiveness and availability. The effects of early attachment are far-reaching, establishing how we perceive ourselves and others as we grow into adults. In broad terms, individuals who experience loving and consistent early caregiving developsecure attachment, while those who receive harsh and/or inconsistent treatment from their early caregivers develop insecure attachment.

****Insecure attachment breaks down into two types:

Those who are high on attachmentavoidance believe that others will not respond to their needs, and correspondingly have a negative view of others. They tend to avoid intimacy, and are ill at ease when they feel their partner is too close.Those who are high on attachment anxietyare preoccupied with how available others are, and have a negative view of themselves. They seek out intimacy and contact with others, and can often be cloying or “needy” in their relationships.

(Securely attached people are low on attachment avoidance and anxiety, and demonstrate higher levels of adjustment in their relationships.)

The results were striking. Highly avoidantpeople seemed to be most satisfied with their relationships when the personalities of the partners were moderately similar. The researchers interpret this finding as possibly reflecting a level of “counter-dependence” with which avoidant people are comfortable. Put another way, an optimal balance of similarities and differences may help avoidant people keep intimacy at bay.

But for highly anxious people, it was a different story. They experience greater levels of relationship satisfaction with partners who are either highly similar or dissimilar to them. Hudson and Fraley speculate that similarity offers anxious people the feeling of “oneness” that they crave with their significant others, while dissimilarity may encourage “reliant dependence” on their partners. For the anxiously attached, having a dissimilar partner may be a way to compensate for one's own shortcoming, say the researchers.

Read full article
http://psychologytoday.com/blog/head-games/201412/do-opposites-really-attract-its-complicated?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost