Showing posts with label being kind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being kind. Show all posts

Tuesday, 17 December 2019

You are not as kind as you think you are.

If your kindness doesn't give the person receiving kindness any agency, voice or respect... It's not kindness.

kindness fails when it's disrespectful.

Sometimes we're using kindness for only selfish reasons... maybe to prop up our own image in the eyes of ourselves or of the people around us. Maybe it's control, maybe to make people feel the way you want them to feel.

Like most things, it's the honest motives that help determine, but unfortunately this is one of the easiest categories to deny because no one can really call you out... it's super ambiguous.

Tuesday, 3 May 2016

Let's see each other not as gender but as humanity.

We need to teach our sons the difference between:

a woman who compromises him and a woman who will compromise with him

a woman who will stand on him and a woman who will stand with him

a woman in need of a parent and woman in need of a partner

a woman who expects everything from him and a woman who respects everything about him

Then we need to teach our daughter's to be that women.

Men V Women.
How to tell when it's a fair point? Reverse the genders...  If the advice is both true and powerful regardless of if it's directed at male or female...  It is not about gender, rather about humanity

The difference between collective and individual.
A man raping a women is an individual action, the attitude towards it is collective.
A women belittles a man to the point of suicide is individual action, our response is collective. Both are important,  but to swap individual and collective is deadly.

A man who raped a women turning into a collective is men can't be trusted, all are potential rapists...  Then a man defends that he and others like him are a good guy with the swap,  he is now and individual which means he holds no weight or authority only making him and his kind more guilty.

We may never get rid of individuals actions,  but our goal as a collective is to be surprised about male / female inequality, to be surprised when a man does something to a women (or the other way round) that we are surprised and shocked that a women got attacked at night in a park by herself...  Let's be surprised as a collective that a man does something bad against a women and distrust the individual not the whole gender.