It's an explanation, it's not an excuse.

A comment to 'when men raise their voice, it's because they feel they aren't being obeyed'.

There might be two different things going on here (we're going to leave nature debates out of this, super complicated), sometimes these two are combined, sometimes not.

One is conditioning based on culture, upbringing - just seeing it as that's just how it is. There's no rhyme or reason.

So the good news is we rebel against about 1 in 5 nurtured habits as we become adults, so 20% have a chance to break free 'easily' while the other 80% will need social cues and relearning, which is really difficult, but not impossible.

The second is much worse because it comes from a place of fear. Fear of what? Being found out. Imposter syndrome. How is that relevant in relationships and interactions?

Lucky you, you're about to find out - this is a pattern amongst all people across all sorts of genres, it just so happens this genre and these people are far more damaging in the now, and across generations. So what are they afraid of exactly, what are they hoping no one finds out about?

Let me ask you this? Do you love yourself? Do you even like yourself? Would you enjoy spending all week with you?

For some, they do like themselves, cool! For others, they don't, at all. When someone likes or even loves the person who hates themself, after a while they start to feel like they have to keep up an act, because if the person truly got to know them, they'd see what you always feared.

Fear. They are in a way, incompetent of being themselves. Think of an incompetent boss or manager, same behaviour, but not the same level of personal destruction (usually). We're not very good humans when we're scared. Fear - it's not rational, it's not considered, it does not pick up on subtlety and it does not conform to social expectations. It's not an excuse, it is an explanation.

Explanations are needed to inform the direction of change. Don't get furious, get curious. And yet furry let's us know something is wrong, so the path for some is furry, it let's others know things are not ok and that's just as important... But furry can't explain why, curiosity does.

When someone doesn't know who they are, what they stand for, who their identity is, they are always going to feel like they're pretending, and for many, they will lash out when they feel like they're being exposed as the fraud human being they feel they are.

So the next time anyone yells at you, see if there is fear in their eyes while they're getting angry over 'nothing'.
It's only an explanation, it's not an excuse.

"Sam, please, we're just having some observational truth bomb pitchfork media meme times." #DontBringFactsToAFeelingsFight

Do Ignorant People Know They Are Ignorant?

I read one of those quotes or lessons in the form of a picture/infograph and it said

>>>THINGS PEOPLE DO NOT CHOOSE:

*SEXUAL ORIENTATION
*MENTAL ILLNESS
*GENDER IDENTITY
*DISABILTY
*RACE

>>>THINGS PEOPLE DO CHOOSE:

*TO BE IGNORANT AND JUDGE

GET EDUCATED!!!

produced by Mental Health Awareness Australia

I like this,  but I don't know if the last point is true... 
Ignorance definition: lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated.
And judging definition: form an opinion or conclusion about

You can't choose your 'development guardians', the teaching and experiences they provide is what's known as conditioning.  It's like the Stephen Fry intelligence sliding scale...  If you ask someone if they are intelligent,  an unintelligent person will say yes while an intelligent person has the intelligence to know how little they know and will answer no. How do you know what you don't know? What's my point?
I don't think a lot of people do choose to be ignorant, because they don't know they are,  if they knew,  it's not ignorance, isn't it implied by the meaning "not knowing" and judging is exactly what every human being does, by definition,  'form an opinion or conclusion about...' when and how did any of us get to the opinions or conclusions we have? Yes of course they have more of the possibility of opportunity to choose, than the more 'hard-wired descriptions' (race etc) but a choice is only in existence when there is multiple possibilities and that can only exist if recognised.  So if you can't recognise because of genetics (intelligence/chemical make up),  cultural or social reinforcements and especially conditioning,  then isn't it possible that there is no capacity for choice for SOME people especially if never had the opportunity to be taught by someone who can speak their 'language'?
Maybe the choice is not with them,  but with us? If we stop to ask why is someone 'ignorant' when it seems so obvious to us (and others) than as the knowing ones,  isn't it our responsibility to educate? It would be a laughable notion that the student tells the teacher what they will learn,  yet I feel like that's what we are asking 'ignorant' people to do "you should get educated" we say. If we think that they should do as we do, take our word for it and not give them a reason to change,  aren't we just as 'ignorant' as them? Find a way to get to know why they came to the conclusions they did and find out their fears,  their motivations, their knowledge of what they do and don't know, their identity might have been chosen for them a long time ago. There's plenty of things we think we know and stay with that until presented with new information, time, a new feeling, abstract proof, major event or just sheer persistence and reinforcements... Because how do we know what we don't know? ... You know :-p

If anyone disagrees, that's OK,  I'd like to get to understand your point of view because you might teach me something I didn't know or didn't consider :-)

Are We Ever Wrong?

Something to think about...

http://www.nova1069.com.au/best-web/why-everyone-should-have-dash-cam

Does she believe she's in the right,  if so how did she come to that decision? Or on some level she's lying to herself but believes her own lies? Or simple denial, wishing it to not be, (or is that lying?) Or is it as simple as the belief everyone else is the reason bad things happen to her and she's just adopted this aproch for all areas of her life? Is there another option?