The career dating dance

A company rejecting you for being 'overqualified' is like saying 'that girl is too hot for me so I'll say no even though she wants me' Sure you probably won't grow old together, and yeah she'll probably realise she can do better but it will be amazing while it lasts!

Why girls like men with money and it's not the reason you think

Why do many girls like men money?

On the surface this seems like a stupid question...  But really think about it,  why? Well because they want nice things probably,  what about freedom? Most likely, security? For sure.

If you subscribe to the theory of everything revolves around survival and legacy,  then a partner with money can provide both.  A large part of seeking out a mate is getting the feeling of being safe and secure, to feel like your survival is not under threat,  in other words "if you have money, I feel safe with you". You keep seeing the stat that women enjoy sex more with a man who is rich. Well when your not anxious or stressed about tomorrow's survival, it helps you focus on enjoying yourself.

How to protect yourself from mental attacks.

The hostility towards someone else stems from fear. Defending yourself won't work,  making them feel better may not and definitely won't in the long term. It's an individual security issue and they are trying to control the situation and make that fear go away.  Learn to be brave,  and learn to spot someone who isn't.  When you learn to do that, you will not take attacks as personal and prevent unconscious attacks on others.

Why don't you just leave the abusive relationship?

If you don't understand why someone doesn't leave an abusive or violent relationship, think about a workplace. Those company expected hours build up to the point of being illegal, poor conditions,  not appreciated,  blamed for things going wrong, it stresses you out, you try really hard,  you hope it gets better, when you get tried of being treated this way for a while you stand up for yourself but then get punished even more, it seems like they're out to get you,  they make life difficult trying to try and make you leave,  but you try even harder to win their favor OR you become a hollow shell just drifting - either way,  you haven't taken the hint, so they find reasons to build a case against you until either you take the hint or they kick you out on your arse.

So why didn't you just leave before it all started? It never started and it never stopped,  it not easy to walk away from something when you feel you reply on it so much,  when you feel like tomorrow will be different, when you feel like you can fix the problem or it will just fix itself over time.  Yes some people know their worth and walk at the sign of trouble,  but for the rest of us,  we stay in that crappy job,  sometimes we put up with it our whole lives or go from bad job to bad job letting history repeat. It's a paradoxical abusive relationship,  like fascism is to communism.

So before you judge someone for not walking away from an abusive relationship, why didn't you walk away from your abusive relationship?

Anything which involves giving up a piece of your identity is one of the hardest things to do,  and when we have the ability to rationalize almost anything we want to, we'll always find a reason why it's worth living in hell so we don't have to say goodbye to a piece of ourselves.

Hurting People Hurt People

If someone is mean to us, we take it personally,  but what if you knew that someone had just lost a loved one like a spouse or a parent? Do we still take it personally,  or do we rationalise that their pain is being transfered onto us? There's a good chance that most mean deeds spring from outside pain and unresolved feelings.
Hurting people hurt people. Try not to take it personally, otherwise you'll be hurting too and may pass that on.

Memory Mind blown

Most memories aren't lost, but their triggers are.

Phelps 2016

After trying to spell sooty I remembered an old children's show I used to like and hadn't thought of it since I was a child - unless I did but have no trigger to remind myself haha

"People can't give you what they don't have"

A couple of interesting quotes that got me thinking...

"People can't give you what they don't have"

How many times do we want something and want someone to give it to us when deep down we know they can't - like someone admitting they are wrong but they will never have the ability to see that,  or a mother wanting their child to be super grateful for the sacrifices she made,  but they'll never reach that realisation to the degree the mother wants, or the daughter wanting a close relationship to the astranged father when he's never had a healthy relationship in his life, or a woman who has been abused by a man and wants her partner to give back what she's lost...  Or maybe a husband wants his wife to understand him more, but she is who she is and would have to change who she is to understand or 'get him' more... Which leads me to an interesting second quote...
Antero Alli, an obscure author, wrote, “communication is only possible between equals"
Do you agree? I try to learn how to think dumber so I can communicate with 'dumb' people...This quote sums up what I am trying to do,  I was trying to be like the person I wanted to communicate with... Maybe that's why so few can communicate in a relationship, many seem unbalanced,  which we jokingly describe as 'who wears the pants' with that quote alone you are saying you are not equal,  one has power while the other follows... Maybe it's time to be equal,  and if you can't, try to be equal in the moment...