I forget

It scares me how much we really forget and how our memories are altered by our feelings

Comfort in Pain?

I have a different angle thought....

If physical (coupled with thought) pleasure is more random and takes more and more to receive/enjoy it and our bodies change,  could physical pain be comforting because it's consistent? In a world and mind that is so unsure and inconsistent, could apart of the pain appeal be because it's guaranteed? Because it's simple and it's the same in any language?  And if you do get used to that level of pain,  isn't it much easier to control and increase the pain than to increase pleasure?
So if you are one of the individuals that 'get' this world and take delight in it,  in a way you are the luckiest of all because you'll enjoy it for the rest of your life if you choose... Guaranteed!

Fighting unfair

Is the accusations of sexism,  racism,  homophobia ways to win arguments?

Just un-intelligent arguments to justify or enforce someone's way of life and shunning others points of difference and preferences.

Sometimes we can't articulate what we mean in an argument,  so we try to get the! 'right result' by finding other ways of winning. Just because you can't articulate as well as the other guy,  doesn't mean you're less right, but it also doesn't give you the right to find alternative hurtful points that have nothing to do with the argument you're trying to win for the sake of winning.

Fight fair.

Creativity Slavery

Why do we want to control creativity?  Are we scared. I think because people don't know how or where they get their thoughts,  they fear that one day they'll lose it...  That's a real fear, Sting from the band The Police, has the fear of a blank note pad...  That fear of one day you just 'loose it'. It's interesting that kids don't have this fear...  Well not instinctively...  Its beautiful to just create and not worry about the end result,  just do it for the enjoyment of.

I think...  I think...  The worst thing you can do is have something spacific in mind and chase that...  Because you could be chasing your whole life,  chase the feeling instead!

Controlling Mind Games

Normal people doing their best and making normal mistakes.
It's said that modern education and learning techniques discourage and punish mistakes,  so we instinctively avid things that we might get wrong... 

Ever had that person in your life that is always on your back or criticising you? No matter how much you do right,  they'll make a big deal about that one tiny mistake.

Is there a chance they don't want us to get it right? They aren't over critical,  they are looking for your flaws and failures,  they could be deliberately setting you up for failure...  We all want to be praised and accepted so often we work harder to please the person who cannot be pleased. Maybe we should ask ourselves what these people's motives are...  And if it's not about the spirit of or the ethic of,  then chances are its not the mistakes that are the problem...  To them, you are the problem!

They are the one with the problem,  not you. Its their problem, not yours and don't let it be, don't let yourself play their games...  Stop trying to get it right for them,  because in their eyes you probably never will.

Step back a little closer. Is your marriage doomed before it starts?

In the end, some partners feel that their problems will solve themselves in due time, or that their problems are “too small” to seek therapy for. Showing that time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds, the median duration of a marriage ending in divorce in Australia was recorded at 12.2 years in 2011, with nearly 50,000 divorces being granted in the same year.

“It isn’t a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

How long will yours last? Why? What will you do about it? Can you do something about it before you even start the relationship?

Maybe being truthful to yourself and about yourself,  being honest and acting on it.  Easier said than done. Don't be afraid of someone rejecting you for you in the first few dates,  because if you show them someone you're not,  they'll still reject you,  just a much longer time later.

Inner world, outer world

What if you had no way of saying what you had to say,  or showing how you feel,  demonstrating your meaning or even having no way of letting others know you 'exist'

www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2014/10/14/it-was-being-buried-alive-what-its-have-locked-syndrome

Although this is the most extreme example,  I believe most of us in some way have trouble communicating ... And in the western world that my perspective comes from,  who ever articulates best is right...  But are they?  Just because someone is better at rationalization does that make them more right than the person that can't say what they're trying to say?

Knowledge, Motion, Action, Avoidance.

Aristotle said, “The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.” 

I wonder if we put too much emphasis on learning...  Sometimes...  I feel like some people study because it's an excuse to not take any real action...  It's like preparing for a meal,  buying the food but never cooking it...  At some point,  a good quality of your investment is wasted...  Maybe...  Sometimes you just gotta start doing it,  not prepare for it...  I don't think we really ever truly feel ready for big steps forward,  so stop waiting for the feeling

Even if know one reads this,  I need to hear this for myself...  Follow my own advice.

I learnt the difference between motion and action recently.  Motion is reading that book on health,  buying those running shoes,  getting that gun membership... Action is actually following that books advice,  running in those shoes and attending that gym. 
I'm the first to admit I usually put way to much into motion and not enough into action...  However I know many people that are reverse,  they put a lot of effort taking action only to find it was a waste of time and effort,  they can spend their whole lives working their ass off and not really have much to show for it.  To put it a simpler way...  They worked harder,  not smarter.

I guess the key like so many things, is balance.
I've been thinking of doing a blog for a while,  imagining the topics,  thinking of the benefits  like having a mental history for myself and being able to reflect etc but it's only me doing it that makes it a reality,  so maybe if in doubt go for action over motion... Maybe.

"Work beats talent when talent doesn't work"

Pain, Punishment and Pleasure

Pavlok electric shock punishment

Crowd funding

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/pavlok-the-habit-changing-device-that-shocks-you

Promo video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYvpvz_bzmI

I read an article today that really stood out.  I looked more into it and it's basically a company that wants to keep you accountable to yourself by punishing you when you don't do what you say you want to do.

Pain is iinevitable in life,  but I believe you can choose to a degree where when and how that pain happens. 

I like the idea,  there are two types of people,  those mainly driven by reward and those mainly driven by undesirable consequences...  'carrot or stick' philosophy. Both work,  it just depends on the type of person and the choices you make.

An explination I found:

First, you could dangle a carrot in front of the donkey, fooling the donkey into thinking that if he pulls the cart far enough, he’ll get to eat the carrot.

The second is to prod the donkey along the road by hitting him with a stick.

If the donkey is motivated by the ultimate reward of a carrot, the stick won’t be necessary,
but if he’s not really all that interested in carrots, then the stick will be employed.

Either way, through reward or through punishment, the cart driver gets what he wants.

Contributors Justin Taylor

Science says that pain and pleasure are in a lot of ways, intertwined,  a paradox where pain causes pleasure. 

http://m.livescience.com/27462-relief-makes-pain-feel-good.html

Some philosophers would say there is no pleasure without the contrast of pain.

I could go on as pain and pleasure is a passionate topic of mine,  but I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes. 

Haruki Murakami: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

Different

What is different?

adjective

1.

not alike in character or quality; differing; dissimilar:

The two are different.

2.

not identical; separate or distinct:

three different answers.

3.

various; several:

Different people told me the same story.

4.

not ordinary; unusual.

yeah yeah, but what does it mean for me, or you to be different? and if so many of us are different, doesn't that make us kind of the same?

Can two people who are very different get along? Well maybe if they appreciate their differences but that means both people have to be the same in that particular belief, and perhaps in other ways be the same... So what are the parts/beliefs/choices that we can be different with, and get along? And what are the parts that we have to be the same in order to get along, to 'fit' together?