Feel v Fact

Feeling does not dictate fact.

Example.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=M2urdlfmrpE#

If we feel gross,  doesn't mean we
If you feel someone is rich,  doesn't mean they are
If we feel dumb,  doesn't mean we are
If you feel attacked,  doesn't mean you are
If we feel worthy,  doesn't mean we are
If you feel misunderstood,  doesn't mean you are
If we feel right,  doesn't mean we are
If you feel betrayed,  doesn't mean you are
If we feel popular,  doesn't mean we are
If you feel nothing's wrong doesn't mean it isn't
If we feel...  We can question how we feel and if our feelings and reality match up.

But feelings are your fact,  you are allowed to feel and it's OK to feel how you do,  just be careful... Did reality triggered your feelings or yourself which may contradicts reality... 
So what is reality? The world we perceive through our minds and senses which is influenced by how we feel.

Sluts are not sluts.

Maybe women shouldn't be told 'don't' to seeking the touch of a man regularly...  Maybe other girls judge and 'educate' their friends,  daughters,  sisters,  strangers.  And maybe women should stop coming to the defence of other women about how others comment on their body...  Why?  Well I've realised that we let in the world in different ways,  we learn different ways,  we value different things and find identity in things that may surprise ourselves. 
I've always wondered why some girls find offence to flattering their physical appearance while others value it...  Of course there's different degrees and contexts,  but without going through every detail,  there is a general pattern of some girls liking it more than others.  I've known for a while about identity being the root to most behaviors and choices,  and I've also known about the 'love language' concept.

If you are unfamiliar...  I got this list and definition from 5 love languages in no particular order.

Physical Touch

This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

Receiving Gifts

Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

So back to my point which I haven't really made yet.  Some women need...  Like really need,  physical touch...  So they're physical bodies are important to them maybe more than others...  Maybe they are an audio person too...  Likes praise on their physical points through sound and backed up with touch?  It doesn't mean they are a slut,  it doesn't mean they lack self control compared to others...  They just have a disposition...  We even learn and take in the world in 3 different ways,  through hearing,  seeing and or doing,  often one is much more important for the other two...  So leave chicks alone who like to touch...  Because we all have the same driving force.  To love,  and to be loved... In our own way!

Incest

My response.  To this article...  Am I right?  Am I wrong?  Probably both and neither.

http://mobile.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/genetic-sexual-attraction-18-year-old-woman-opens-up-about-marrying-her-father/story-fnet0gt3-1227188412830

Oh please...  Two consenting adults...  Was society not talking like this about gays 50 years ago (and shorter) have we not learnt,  just because you wouldn't do it,  doesn't mean others have to follow... Sure there are probably a lot of proven unhealthy psychological issues in play that are proven in many people,  but the act itself has nothing to do with us and by shaming people who are like this (who can't help it I suspect just like many other behaviors we have learnt to accept) just makes another skeleton in the closest for I suspect many many people. Would I do it?  god no!  Who's reading this would you?  Statistical no. But these people feel the way they do and in the western world...  If both parties are consenting, legal age,  and not hurting anyone by their choices,  then who are we to condemn?

We're just really complicated animals looking to survive and reproduce

You decide what you make of this...

A study by Shari Dworkin, a medical sociologist at the University of California, San Francisco, found that 72 percent of college-age men want to share the "labor" of getting things started. 

72 percent of college-age men admit they wish their female partners would initiate sex more frequently.

Females aged 18 to 24 make the first move in 25 percent of relationships.

73 percent of men would accept the offer of sex from an attractive female stranger if she made the first move.

40 percent of women would accept the offer of sex from an attractive male stranger if he made the first move.

http://youtu.be/N5vGFCUWyFQ Guy with a Bugatti asks girls for sex, social experiment

Fat Girl Tinder Date (Social Experiment): http://youtu.be/2alnVIj1Jf8 spoiler,  the girl is not really fat.

Is Helping Hurting?

A radical notion...  Is helping causing more problems than it solves?  What is 'helping' anyway? The dictionary defines it as; make it easier or possible for (someone) to do something by offering them one's services or resources.
But who decides who needs it,  or the definition of 'easier'? Why do we help?...  And is helping really helping if we do it to help ourselves more? If we help based on our perspectives...  Maybe we will do more harm than good...  If we asked people how they wanted to be helped instead of deciding your way of helping and accepting their way...  But that starts to lead to a different topic, where is the line between helping and being used? Where someone doesn't need help,  but uses as an excuse to be lazy or get further ahead.  Such a simple concept,  or so I thought,  but sounds like something under the surface that is very very complicated.

Wrestling with 'what is right' choice and others choices

We say that people who don't have a choice with preferences of life,  as long as they don't hurt anyone,  we should accept them...  But what if i don't chose my feelings towards them...  Why do i have to change or hide?  Its not OK to be mean,  say cruel things,  do bad deeds...  None of that is acceptable,  but why do i have to be OK with someone's 'lack of choice' when my lack choice is opposite?  This is not an attack,  nor spacific...  But we all have physiological triggers and things that are connected to likes and dislikes...  I don't like men dressing up as women,  or women who dress up as men.  Then people would say...  "oh you hate transgender people" ... No...  I've known one individual,  and they were a nice person,  decent...  Didn't have a problem... "so how can you say...  " because there's other things in play...  I also don't like clowns...  Doesn't mean i don't like the person in the clown costume... or some dress ups...   seeing a pattern here?
There is a theory called the 'uncanny valley' look it up for more details,  but these pics are basic examples ...
So what's this got to do with me not liking men dressing up as women and women dressing up as men? (less the latter) because I have instinctively evolutionary feelings that if someone is trying to deceive me,  I feel threatened and my body goes into a mode of alertness.  I don't chose this...  Yet somehow society would say at a glance that I'm transgender-phobic...  So if they don't choose to be transgender,  and I don't chose for my psychology to be wary...  Then we do act on the choices we do have...  I may not like something but that doesn't mean it hurts me or me meaning harm on someone. We are all people, we have our struggles...  Our blessings and our curses...  It must be such a tough world when so many people don't accept ones identity...  I accept who you are...  Let's celebrate our similarities...  Humanity...  That's something we all share :-)

Your childhood determines your love life later on.

From an article 'do opposites attract?' for me this direct question isn't as relevant as the other info it provides...  Here's some exerts I thought most relevant and eye opening to ourselves and our romantic choices...

Hudson and Fraley took their investigation an intriguing step further. Given that attachment fundamentally shapes how people function in romantic relationships, they wanted to test whether adult attachment style influences the association between partner similarity and relationship satisfaction. (The participants also completed an attachment questionnaire.)

Attachment develops from the relationship between infants and their caregiver, with particular respect to responsiveness and availability. The effects of early attachment are far-reaching, establishing how we perceive ourselves and others as we grow into adults. In broad terms, individuals who experience loving and consistent early caregiving developsecure attachment, while those who receive harsh and/or inconsistent treatment from their early caregivers develop insecure attachment.

****Insecure attachment breaks down into two types:

Those who are high on attachmentavoidance believe that others will not respond to their needs, and correspondingly have a negative view of others. They tend to avoid intimacy, and are ill at ease when they feel their partner is too close.Those who are high on attachment anxietyare preoccupied with how available others are, and have a negative view of themselves. They seek out intimacy and contact with others, and can often be cloying or “needy” in their relationships.

(Securely attached people are low on attachment avoidance and anxiety, and demonstrate higher levels of adjustment in their relationships.)

The results were striking. Highly avoidantpeople seemed to be most satisfied with their relationships when the personalities of the partners were moderately similar. The researchers interpret this finding as possibly reflecting a level of “counter-dependence” with which avoidant people are comfortable. Put another way, an optimal balance of similarities and differences may help avoidant people keep intimacy at bay.

But for highly anxious people, it was a different story. They experience greater levels of relationship satisfaction with partners who are either highly similar or dissimilar to them. Hudson and Fraley speculate that similarity offers anxious people the feeling of “oneness” that they crave with their significant others, while dissimilarity may encourage “reliant dependence” on their partners. For the anxiously attached, having a dissimilar partner may be a way to compensate for one's own shortcoming, say the researchers.

Read full article
http://psychologytoday.com/blog/head-games/201412/do-opposites-really-attract-its-complicated?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost

Dawning of a World Wide Era?

The right conclusions for the wrong reasons.  Maybe it's taken time to change our thinking behavior but for some "if you know the question, you can get the answer" rings true...  It does for me anyway.  I'm realising how little we really know...  The facts...  We do so many things and don't really know why,  we give so much advice,  but where did we get it? We had the industrial revolution,  we are in the IT age...  Maybe the sun will rise on the era of fact?  Where opinion is not as valued as hard evidence...  This sounds like hard work...  To prove everything you say and believe,  but i find myself questioning any 'fact' that i picked up along the way but didn't have a reliable source...  What what is reliable?  Trust?  And what is trust?  The repetition of being right and/or reliable.  Chicken or the egg.
The other problem is truth and fact changes with new truths and facts. We aren't as smart as we think us humans...  Every generation thinks they are at the height of humanity and that somehow we've figured out most things worth knowing...  That's my opinion,  not fact.  Maybe the era of fact is still a long way off.