Wrestling with 'what is right' choice and others choices

We say that people who don't have a choice with preferences of life,  as long as they don't hurt anyone,  we should accept them...  But what if i don't chose my feelings towards them...  Why do i have to change or hide?  Its not OK to be mean,  say cruel things,  do bad deeds...  None of that is acceptable,  but why do i have to be OK with someone's 'lack of choice' when my lack choice is opposite?  This is not an attack,  nor spacific...  But we all have physiological triggers and things that are connected to likes and dislikes...  I don't like men dressing up as women,  or women who dress up as men.  Then people would say...  "oh you hate transgender people" ... No...  I've known one individual,  and they were a nice person,  decent...  Didn't have a problem... "so how can you say...  " because there's other things in play...  I also don't like clowns...  Doesn't mean i don't like the person in the clown costume... or some dress ups...   seeing a pattern here?
There is a theory called the 'uncanny valley' look it up for more details,  but these pics are basic examples ...
So what's this got to do with me not liking men dressing up as women and women dressing up as men? (less the latter) because I have instinctively evolutionary feelings that if someone is trying to deceive me,  I feel threatened and my body goes into a mode of alertness.  I don't chose this...  Yet somehow society would say at a glance that I'm transgender-phobic...  So if they don't choose to be transgender,  and I don't chose for my psychology to be wary...  Then we do act on the choices we do have...  I may not like something but that doesn't mean it hurts me or me meaning harm on someone. We are all people, we have our struggles...  Our blessings and our curses...  It must be such a tough world when so many people don't accept ones identity...  I accept who you are...  Let's celebrate our similarities...  Humanity...  That's something we all share :-)