You've got a nasty bite... what's it like?

Imagine a snake, any snake...

Do you believe this snake hunts down humans? Like it directly seeks them out? I think we can all agree, no, otherwise snakes would be banging on our doors trying to get in.

Ok, now imagine yourself as that snake... What are you doing all day? Doing snake things like lying around, looking around, finding shelter getting warm, looking for food, looking for a mate, having snake babies...

Cool, doesn't sound too far from the average human year...

Keep imagining yourself as this snake.

Now you're minding your own business and a human steps on your tail.... what do you do?

Probably lashes out and goes to bite the source of the pain yes?

Did the human do it deliberately... maybe, but maybe not too. Either way, it hurt getting your tail stood on and without thinking you wanted to protect yourself.

Switch back into a human mindset... When someone stomps on your 'tail' accidentally or deliberately, what does your 'bite' look like? What is your venom made up of?
It's really important to know how we inflict pain upon others.

If you can't figure it out or you don't think you have a 'bite' start with what you know for sure you don't do. But you have something, you do something.
And if you still can't think of anything, if you wanted to hurt someone in a socially acceptable way (where you still looked like the good guy) what would that look like?

This explains every argument ever had

What's going on when people fight, argue and disagree? I've noticed for years how many people are both right in an argument... how is that possible, how can we all be fighting over the same thing and yet all be right?
Or flip it around, the same people who could be both right are also both wrong... How can this be?

Because our fight is governed and justified by the parameters we set out for ourselves.

Here are those parameters.

There are only two platforms of communication:

1 Discussion
2 Debate

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These are filtered through four 'according to you' belief systems:

1 The world how it is (objectively)
2 The world how you think it ought to be
3 The world not being understood
4 The world 'how it is' but it just ain't so (perception ignoring objective reality).

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All arguments topics come down to these four categories:

1 My world (what I know and see)
2 'The' world ('facts')
3 Equality (the game today)
4 Equity (the game today, yesterday and tomorrow)

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These are personalised by three main feelings:

1 Why can't you be more like me?
2 Why can't you be more like what I understand?
3 Why can't you understand my pain?

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All motivations stem back to a deep original source...

1 Survival (including resources, status quo and power)

And/or

2 Legacy (including extra resources sex, extra power and purpose)

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Are you accidentally the most morally upright human?

We have both the right and responsibility to champion the causes which matter to us and the people under our duty of care (by design or fate). We have both the right and responsibility to take actions which help us survive, be fine or perhaps thrive, but not to the significant detriment of others for the insignificant or incremental gains for yourself and the people under your care.
How do you measure that?
There's always someone better off than you and always someone worse off than you.
If you have no headspace, no money and no time (not by choice), you are trying to survive. If you have any one of those things, you have hope. If you have any two of those things you are fine. If you (could choose) to have all of those things, you are thriving.
Know thy self. Get to know your shadow and stop lying to yourself. Stop being a victim, stop being a hero.
It is what it is, this too shall pass.

I was inspired to write this after watching this https://youtu.be/bounwXLkme4

When something is wrong but seem like you made it up

We remember feelings, vibes and the 'spirit' of prior events, but it's really difficult to remember and hold onto details. That's why it seems like we're just throwing out wild accusations when trying to communicate with someone an issue from the past without 'hard evidence'.

The social tribe war is here

If we can't convince people our tribe is 'right' or 'the best' can we at least ally with others instead?

The social tribe war is here.
It's a strange time to be alive, anyone can find a very specific and niche tribe, and we're getting territorial, we're less patient, and if you criticise us, you must be our enemy.
It sounds a lot like the old days of literal tribes based on culture, geography and religion, it was very black and white, but we grew and understood other countries are different to us...

I wonder if we can borrow some lessons from history...

If you have a tribe, big or small, and another tribe does things that are completely different to your beliefs, could we maybe see them as our ally rather than 'you are with us or against us'
What's the most extreme different tribes you think you could ally with? That doesn't mean you agree with them and all they do, but they probably can't/don't hurt you? Why start a war because of differences, when you can ally and exist side by side happily doing what you both want to do.
Perhaps you'll need to hold two conflicting points of view simultaneously. Perhaps.

There's no such thing as white privilege, there is however legacy privilege

'White' is short hand for 'had a better past'.

Racism by definition is to classify or negatively assign traits from the collective regardless of if it applies to the individual.

When you talk about any privilege, you're saying 'because of your race, class you are where you are' that's not correct, because of your past you are in part where you are. And statistically men, and white have occupied what the western world would call 'success'.
The problem with this game everyone seems to be playing looking and gender and skin is it's a game no one can win...
Women need more rights to make up for man's dominance... ok, but if that's the game, then black people need more rights against the white woman...
Then trans people need more rights against black women
Then a disabled trans black woman needs more rights

And we haven't even touched on income, home life, personal history... you just can't do this and win, it's a 'race' to see who has it worse...

What if you're a white man (image in your head) but is an eastern European person coming from communist torturer crimes where his whole family was killed verses say Serena Williams?
If the argument, it's the collective and collateral damage to individuals is the price of over equality... That is actually exactly what communism is built on!

So what do we do then? Let white men rule and everyone suffer? God no, treat everyone the individuals they are, and if it's in your nature to try the equality path, go for it, but don't attach it to gender or skin colour for goodness sake, there are so many more measurable things which matter so much... we can start with our childhood where we were all once at the mercy of people much more powerful and made choices we had no say over.

Read this... it's a start to a fairer, equal and happy society by empathising with each other's burdens.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/driven-distraction/201802/how-people-beat-the-odds-after-rough-childhood?

Are you useless?

I read this and it made me sad.

I turned 17 and realized I didn't have a plan for life after that age and was actually planning on killing myself the night of my 18th bday but here I still am in a weird useless limbo that helps society none, my family none, myself none, and overall leaves me feeling like I am useless because tbh I really am.

My response.

Did you know almost all people that have something to sell you or take from you have slowly made you believe these feelings? So your value is determined by others opinions of your value... I'm here to tell you if you've ever appreciated a ladybird, a puppy or even a pretty flower, how much more valuable you are, a heart beat that desires to just be, a soul, a conscious awareness of the universe. You feel small, because you are so intelligent, you are aware of everything. You matter because you exist. You think, therefore, you are - with all your flaws and beauty... If you are so aware of what you aren't, it's means you're great enough to just be, And being you is enough... it always has been and always will be. Just be. It is what it is and enjoy being a being with no guilt, no remorse. Just be. Be. .... be.

'Generosity'

It's easy to share food once you've had your fill

The Inequality of the Definition of Equality

There are two sorts of equality... 

Definition 1. Everyone is equal today. The same level of importance and opportunities.

Definition 2. Everyone wasn't equal yesterday so we will assist those people a little more today to truly balance the differences to eventually have equal opportunities.

An example of my own life.

I am a sound engineer.

Definition 1 says that I and anyone else have the equal opportunity to become that,  get the same wage when they do and be treated the same.
Definition 2 says, we need to make it easier for other people who have not had the history or opportunities in this field. I as a white male have history on my side which makes it easier for me today to be apart of that world and once I'm in that world I am perpetually accepted because there are others like me,  thus keeping the white male club strong.

The sound engineer example again.  I had a much easier time to get into it because my dad was in music...  It wasn't the same thing and I still worked very hard independently to get to where I got, but arguably without that slight advantage I may have never made it.  This is the same for white males...  Because they have been there before,  set the rules and benefited from perpetual cultures (a la the rich get richer).

So what definition 2 says it's not just about equality in the moment,  but the bigger picture of past present and future.  To put it another way... If you watch some sport towards the end of the game and the opposition to your team scores twice,  it would be fair to think your team is losing, only it's not,  your team is way ahead and they can afford to relax a bit and they still are way ahead on the score board.

If we are fighting about two different types of definitions of equality we will struggle to make progress.