The social tribe war is here

If we can't convince people our tribe is 'right' or 'the best' can we at least ally with others instead?

The social tribe war is here.
It's a strange time to be alive, anyone can find a very specific and niche tribe, and we're getting territorial, we're less patient, and if you criticise us, you must be our enemy.
It sounds a lot like the old days of literal tribes based on culture, geography and religion, it was very black and white, but we grew and understood other countries are different to us...

I wonder if we can borrow some lessons from history...

If you have a tribe, big or small, and another tribe does things that are completely different to your beliefs, could we maybe see them as our ally rather than 'you are with us or against us'
What's the most extreme different tribes you think you could ally with? That doesn't mean you agree with them and all they do, but they probably can't/don't hurt you? Why start a war because of differences, when you can ally and exist side by side happily doing what you both want to do.
Perhaps you'll need to hold two conflicting points of view simultaneously. Perhaps.

The Pain of Feeling Like We Don't Matter

I believe that for us as humans everything stems from identity,  and the core component of that is feeling like we matter...  Anything that makes us feel like we don't matter hurts us in deep and profound ways.
The sad thing is most people's actions that make you feel like you don't matter are often a reflection on them,  not a reflection on you, we take it personally. How can you not? There was a great example in a book called 'walking on egg shells'and the example went something like this:
A bride chooses a church to get married in. A day before the wedding lightening strikes the church and it burns to the ground...  It is too late to find another venue. Naturally the Bride is very angry,  but she doesn't take it personally...  It's not like the lightening deliberately and intentionally was out to hurt the bride.

So much pain in life we take personally,  if we can try to understand pain is all around us and the people that love us rarely and truly don't want to hurt us,  but understand that they will... And when they do,  try to understand it's not about you,  it's probably more likely it's about them and their problems, pasts and mistakes.