I believe that for us as humans everything stems from identity, and the core component of that is feeling like we matter... Anything that makes us feel like we don't matter hurts us in deep and profound ways.
The sad thing is most people's actions that make you feel like you don't matter are often a reflection on them, not a reflection on you, we take it personally. How can you not? There was a great example in a book called 'walking on egg shells'and the example went something like this:
A bride chooses a church to get married in. A day before the wedding lightening strikes the church and it burns to the ground... It is too late to find another venue. Naturally the Bride is very angry, but she doesn't take it personally... It's not like the lightening deliberately and intentionally was out to hurt the bride.
So much pain in life we take personally, if we can try to understand pain is all around us and the people that love us rarely and truly don't want to hurt us, but understand that they will... And when they do, try to understand it's not about you, it's probably more likely it's about them and their problems, pasts and mistakes.
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