People think the opposite of love is hate... It's not because in order to hate there must be some part which cares enough to hate. Hate is the antidote to love but not the opposite. The opposite to love is apathy.
If you agree with that line of thinking, what's the opposite of fear? It's not excitement, the body processes both this emotions very similarly.
I think the opposite of fear is boredom.
Something I'm going to think about more.
I found this random comment on trying to 'impress a potential partner'.
Just be yourself because whatever you try to hide or be will soon discovered.
That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending - performing. You get to love your pretence. It's true, we're locked in an image, an act - and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it, they feel like you're trying to steal their most precious possession.
It just stood out for me, not sure why
Arranged marriages aren't good right!? Marry for love, isn't that the only true way?
Is it?
I'm a middle class white male in the western world and you are only with someone because you love them right? Right?
Is Tinder the new arranged marriage? But instead of parents or culture or class or society choosing for you, you are choosing out of a lineup. Free will, hardly like arranged marriage right? Right? But is it still like an arranged marriage when you kind of fall into relationships because you want to be with someone... Do you love love more than loving that person? Do you really know that person? You date on a premise - I'm wanting a relationship - I have another 10 prospects in the waiting room - it used to be like fishing, you take your time, you fish in a certain way in a certain place at a certain time, and when you catch that right fish, you're so excited, it's got all your attention and energy, nothing else matters... Tinder is like fishing with a net... See what crap you scoop up and dump it all to go again... It's not a hobby like fishing is, it's now a job, a commodity, a slave to a system, a treadmill... Is dating really about love? Or desperation, fulfilling a feeling, a hole...
So many you don't love them - they just give you what you 'need'
February 14th… the love/hate day of the year… You are either reminded of what you have, or what you don't have.
We all have an internal desire not to just be loved, but also to be allowed to give love… When we miss an ex - we miss the right to love and be loved freely - we don't miss them/what made them become an ex. On this day, more people break up than any other day (according to Facebook). It's also the day that makes more people miserable than perhaps happy. Why? It forces us to be honest and real with ourselves, it makes us reflect on things we've avoided, thoughts we have buried and feelings we deny. If you are feeling lonely today, remember, you do have love in your life… from maybe a pet to maybe a parent - you can give love, you can bless others and I hope you receive love too! don't be afraid, you will find love… but love yourself first, learn how to be kind to yourself, "You only accept the love you think you deserve" so if you don't like yourself very much - you may never let in anyone enough to truly experience love and have trouble giving them love because you feel what you have is not enough… It is… if it's from the heart, from you and you meant it, it's enough! Learn your love language, (Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service) understand what makes you tick so you can help others love you in the way that speaks to you.
Be brave… be honest… don't settle…. be kind… be you, because you are enough.
Please don't hurt the one you're supposed to love the most. Be kind to the people who most matter, treat your loved ones how you would like to be treated
"In the age of Tinder, Grindr, Happn, Bumble and many other dating apps that allow people to flip through potential dates like picking socks for the winter season, it seems not only romance has died, but also the respect needed to nurture healthy relationships. Is Tinder a symptom of our self-indulgent, self-absorbed, individualistic, lonely society or has it perpetuated a model in which every human interaction is need-based and transactional?"
— Mădălina Preda
Actually it comes down to fear... We as creatures generally use fear as a guide to keep us alive. When we make it personal, it triggers all sorts of fears, men and women alike, so dating paradoxically is what brings the option of new life but we may 'die' in the process (according to the un-evolved part of our brain when triggered by fear). So as humans have done for thousands of years, we try to make things safer... Our feelings guide our 'success' (even though flying on a plane is safer than a car and a kitchen is dirtier than a toilet), and in this context we have been able to remove fear and vulnerability through 'distance' which is achieved by 'safety in numbers'. Guys have used this approach for a while... Have many girls being dated at the same time so it doesn't matter if one fails because there's others to fall back on and because you don't value one over the other, you don't care who comes or who goes. Caring or not caring regulates emotions... The more you care, the more you fear losing, the less you care... You guessed it, the less you fear losing... It's also the fear of failure or wasting your time or feeling stupid... If you invest in one person and it doesn't work out, it can evoke any number of the feelings above and some but having lots of people, it's just simple numbers, some will come, some will go but there will always be someone. Finally, it makes us feel good, even if the feeling is dripping with fraud, you feel loved or attractive, you feel wanted, validated and accepted... We all want to matter and this is the fastest most convenient way to feel like it, and we all deserve to feel like we matter because we all do!
