Are people attacking you? How?

When someone attacks the process instead of the substance of an argument, you know you are in the right, or at least more right than the attacker.

Next level - when someone attacks instead of holds their position, it means you're probably on the correct path.

Next level again - when the attacker asks all the questions, difficult questions which may or may not be related. Questions are powerful, they control the situation. The more words the defender has to say against these kind of attacking questions, the more guilty the defender seem.

Do you agree when you know you're wrong?

There are so many people concerned about defending and protecting their feelings that we rarely stop to think that we might already agree with them.
S. Phelps

If someone criticised you,  had you actually already throught the same thing? Why is it OK for us to be hard on ourselves then when someone else says aloud what we think,  we defend ourselves instinctively.