In hard times, people don't want to be told to look on the bright side. They want to know you're on their side.
Even if you can't help them feel better, you can always help them feel seen.
The best way to support others is not to cheer them up. It's to show up.
Adam Grant
Is your motive to please or appease?
It's ok to do things to please, especially if you own it and know it. To do things to appease, you're keeping the peace today at the cost of your peace tomorrow.
When are men right and women wrong?
If the answer is never or close to, get out of your echo chamber.
Visa versa too
Fear is rude
I suggest that fear is rude. Think about it. If someone is communicating with you or engaging with you at a place of concern, anxiety, fear, all of the words and all of the framing of the words is from a place of, of, I think you mean me harm, but I couldn't be bothered or don't have the ability to even understand that you're probably not going to cause a series of events that would actually manifest the kinds of fears I'm worried about and concerned about. There's something there isn't there? This is an incomplete thought. It's just something that I'm thinking about at the moment where there's just something mildly offensive about people know you so little or care about you so little that their fears and concerns are the only thing that matters and that we can't possibly be responsible in figuring things out on ourselves. Does that not sound really rude to you? But it's hidden behind this veneer of I'm only checking and making sure. Well why don't you constantly check and make sure about your car or your house structure or the food that you eat? If you constantly were second guessing those things, people would start to think you're crazy. But for some reason, whether it's some sort of benign situation or activity that just, that can't really go bad, they're actually insulting you because they're saying "my world is so much more important than you that I don't even think you're capable of just getting normal results, I assume you will do bad for me".
Hurt my feelings? Hurt them for a day... I'll ruin your life. Ruin it for years, you'll never come back.
That seems fair.
You change my life, I change yours. What is there name?
Red tape is just rules enforced by people who want to, then the rest feel like they have to accept it and when enough people go along with something, you are caught in the red tape regardless of if it's right. People hide behind this and can change your life while their life is untouched completely. Perhaps the only cutting of the red tape by one person is naming the person who changes your life forever. You change my life, I change yours?
Intellectually, some people are very brave until they have skin in the game, then they fall into line. IE Talk big until it might cost them.
