Fear, shame and pain.
Think about it, to control kids, parents get angry (fear) use words in ways to dominate even if it's with a smile (shame) often both anger and manipulating words, which create pain that echoes throughout their life. "We spanked their bottoms for a monoment, instead we now spank their minds all day long."
Kids needs are thought of as immediate, tangible, can be put into a list. The actual needs are for the adults to know themselves, understand their failings, own their blessings and curses, and are strong in the world. Kids don't learn much from words, they feel the energy behind the words. What energy is behind your words? Are you afraid? Are you angry? Are you lost? Do you have meaning?
Sort your shit out or get freakishly good at hiding it.
