There's just 2 things for success

1 thinking

2 doing

We are usually really good at one and not so much the other.

 If you're a doer, get help from thinkers. If you're a thinker, get help from doers.

You think you're busy? Find out if it's worth it...

Busy-ness is is really no different to an active form of laziness. Directionless hustle.

Goals without end points are useless.

What I lack in speed I make up for with intentionality.

Stop saying it's "controversial" when it isn't.

 Back up your claims of "controversial"

There are plenty of people staying in their lane. "Haters going to hate" etc but when it becomes interesting is people who you would have thought would like/support something but don't - or the opposite. That's what makes something controversial not a reinforcement of "the order of things".

PS, stop trying to guess or assume others reactions - ask them.

Phuck the numbers!!!

 What Is Goodhart's Law? Goodhart's Law is expressed simply as: “When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.” In other words, when we set one specific goal, people will tend to optimize for that objective regardless of the consequences.

If you could measure anything? What would you measure?

There's a lot of bad teachers - how to know when they're good

 How do you know who's a good teacher?

When you get the sense that they know 10 times more than what they'll actually tell you and would be glad to tell you the rest if given the chance.

The disclaimer here is teacher only I'm not referring to the subject matter of the teacher.

Say what's in your clients head

 https://youtu.be/4L7pKG8ubUM

The streetlight effect

 The streetlight effect, or the drunkard's search principle, is a type of observational bias that occurs when people only search for something where it is easiest to look. 

Client Satisfaction starts with satisfaction

Client Satisfaction starts with satisfaction. If that satisfaction bar is too high, it doesn't matter how good the work is, it doesn't matter how much better it is or how much cheaper you got it, it will never be enough.

Client satisfaction is not the quality of the work, but how they feel about the outcome. Sometimes that's showing them the difference between two points, showing them the effort and the problems that others might not have solved, but you did. We all want it all, but once someone realises they can't have it all, they'll start appreciating what they got.

This next part comes from Seth

Satisfaction is often driven by the story we tell ourselves.

How does this rank compared to what I expected? Compared to what I used to have? Compared to the person sitting next to me?

The richest person in the world used to sleep on the floor and eat moldy food, but still felt great because it was more than the person in the next cave.

The good news is that our perception of comparison is up to us.

We're all prejudice

 We're all prejudice

I thought it would help starting with the definition of prejudice.

"preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience."

All I wanted to say was we are all prejudice but the basic level prej is what deeper level prej attacks.

Basic level is fixed (unchosen) features prej, the colour of skin, history, culture, gender, attraction, body (insider and out), disabilities and fate. If someone attacks those points most people will come out to defend the victim. But deeper level prejudice is perceived fluid features; attitude, actions, words, priorities, beliefs and attention.

Because the attacker assigned a feature to be optional, changeable and flexible, this now justifies the prejudice. But that is the definition of prejudice. "preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience." You don't know why they say those words, take those actions, believe those things, have those attitudes, give that attention and make those priorities. They are not you and maybe they are way more important and way harder to live with than anything I can point out in a picture or a few paragraphs in an article.

We're all prejudice, you just can get away with the deeper level but you can't with the basic level.

No one has the right to assign motivation and meaning to someone else's life without due diligence.

Do you feel you can't speak up?

Don't be shy, it's not what you say that matters, it matters that you said it.

This might change your life... Might

If you want consistency, it means you're signing up for boring. Exciting is at the start and the end, not the middle.

When you solve a problem, is it solved forever?

 We forgot about problems from the past because they weren't our problems. But by forgetting them we all run the risk of repeating the mistakes of the past.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

 I'm struggling with this logic. Be mean to the middle so the fringes stop being mean to you?

Disarm and dismantle with love

Reasonable questions asked to the unreasonable in front of an audience.

Many unreasonable people don't seem so bad because they control the topics, the agendas, the narratives. You can't beat them at their own game or by bringing facts to a feelings fight. But if you ask them "normal quotations" they will reveal themselves quickly. But they will feel better (maybe) they will have lost some credibility with one side of the audience and gained with the other (that's good) and you come out handling the situation.

Oversimplified example

"I'm offended by that!"

Reasonable question - what is the feeling like?

"Offended, uncomfortable etc"

Reasonable question - how often do you have these feelings?

"all the time"

- All the time?

Then start to mirror

You say you want to do more arty things...

 https://youtu.be/zporICjkWHE

You're aiming for a perfect world?

 "Do you believe in Utopia in your lifetime?"

No

"What worldly problem which effects you are you willing to tolerate?"

The present "disaster" is also a future dream

If you can yell out you are oppressed and people take it seriously, you are not oppressed. You are blessed to have a voice and a choice.

Others around the world do not have a voice and do not have a choice.

Seth Godin Wisdom and the relationships of Client and Maker

A good spec

If you hand a good spec to three providers, you’ll get three variations back in return.

The way you know your spec is worthwhile is that you can live with the differences between them.

If it’s worth caring about, it’s worth writing down.

When we need to show our work

"Show me your work please" Like maths or science.
If you’re basing your proposal on facts, the scientific method, calculations and effectiveness, please show your work. Eagerly share your reasoning, your sources and how you came to this proposed plan. Even better, adopt a posture that welcomes improvements and corrections to your work, because after all, the purpose of your plan is to make change happen.

If, on the other hand, your proposal is based on belief and opinion, tell us. You’re entitled to both. And the rest of us are allowed to disagree.

When we confuse the two, it causes stress. When we feel the need to provide proof to back up our belief, we’re undermining both.

Paths not taken

And vs Or.

Leading a project is about causing the death of a million ‘ands’.

There was a long line at the ice cream stand, but the person in front wasn’t budging. The customer had narrowed down the choice to four flavors, but they were paralyzed, unable to choose.

It’s not because any of the flavors wouldn’t be fine. They were all good choices. It’s because choosing one flavor meant not having the other three. Getting an ice cream had turned into a dance with regret.

You can’t build a luxury car that’s also inexpensive, AND drives well off-road, AND is very fast AND super safe. You can’t create an event that’s intimate, open to all comers, proven, resilient for any weather, held outdoors and unique.

We focus on the frustration of losing an ‘and’ when we get nervous about the decisions we’re asked to make, when we are hesitant about commitment. And we obsess over the constraints we’ve already accepted because it slows us down and amplifies our fears.

Instead of focusing on what we’re building, we focus on the paths that are no longer open.

If we’re going to create anything at all, if we’re going to ship the work, the positive path is to look for the constraints and grab them. They’re the point. No constraints, no project. When we see them as stepping stones on the way to the work we hope to do, they’re not a problem, they’re a sign that we’re onto something.

Managing a project is the craft of picking this ‘or’ that. ‘And’ isn’t often welcome because ‘and’ is a trap.

Unavailable options

“What other colors do you have that are not currently in stock?”

There are always more options.

If exploring them is the goal, please explore. And sometimes, the unavailable can lead to a breakthrough.

But if the job is to simply get the work done, it might be worth pretending that the unexplored options don’t even exist.

How long will this take?

That depends.

Will the spec change after we begin?

Are we depending on supplies or inputs from other people?

Will the budget change?

Is this work that has been done by anyone before?

Is this work that has been done by this team before?

Is finishing it fast more important than doing it well or on budget?

Do you want to participate in the work (see the part about the spec)?

What are the incentives of the people working on the project?

How many different people are involved?

Are all the people, budgets and assets in place already?

Who is choosing the tools?

Pathfinding takes longer than path following. Discussions lead to changes in spec. Dependencies always add time.

What to count

So many choices. So many sorts of metrics, critics and measures.

Perhaps it makes sense to count things where the counting tells us how to do better next time.

And to count things that let us know how much risk we can take next time.

Or to calibrate our judgment about the market.

But it makes no sense at all to count things over which we have no control, and which teach us nothing about the future.

Counting our luck (good or bad) doesn’t make us luckier.

Pathfinding takes longer than path following

 

How long will this take?

That depends.

Will the spec change after we begin?

Are we depending on supplies or inputs from other people?

Will the budget change?

Is this work that has been done by anyone before?

Is this work that has been done by this team before?

Is finishing it fast more important than doing it well or on budget?

Do you want to participate in the work (see the part about the spec)?

What are the incentives of the people working on the project?

How many different people are involved?

Are all the people, budgets and assets in place already?

Who is choosing the tools?

Pathfinding takes longer than path following. Discussions lead to changes in spec. Dependencies always add time.

https://seths.blog/2022/08/how-long-will-this-take/

Stop shouting at me

 If we all heeded our calling, got to work and stopped shouting at others not like us, the world would be a beautiful place.

Phelps

Am I working with you or for you?

 

With/for/to

Most of our interactions fall into one of these categories.

Our strategy for the game involves doing something to the other team.

Many service businesses are aligned around the idea of doing things for their patients or customers.

And long-term mutually beneficial relationships are built around with.

Trouble happens when one party expects a different relationship than the other one might.

Problem vs That's the way it is

Is it a problem (problems have solutions) or is it simply a situation, something like gravity that we have to live with?

Do you have a plan? Seth Godin
https://seths.blog/2022/07/do-you-have-a-plan/ 

Watch out for this, it might save a lot of pain

Ignorance and confidence together is a helluva ticking bomb.

You're not procrastinating, you're actually doing this...

 Creativity is the time spent away from your art.

This only works if you've thought deeply about the situation, then you can let it go and let it be ready to catch the creativity while you spend time away from your art.

Hate your job?

The path to good work usually involves shitty work.

Bosses are hypocrites?

"If everything is important than nothing is important. If everything is a priority then nothing is a priority. If every suggestion must be followed then it's a dictatorship."

Love not war for the 10 second thinkers

I want to build a habit where this happens every time.

When someone makes a comment or statement for whatever, ask yourself 'are they right?'

What I've found is they are, they are almost always right, but of course, they're not. Why?

Because they're right with what they know and what they understand.


I think the line I need to say "based on the info and data you have, you're absolutely right, that is the best answer, but there is a couple of more pieces of data you're missing."

Sometimes, when you think about it, they're asking for something you want to, you've just trained yourself that that's not an option or a possibility or a law of diminishing returns, I think it's important to just state that outright - "That is a good point and I want that too - but unfortunately there are reasons why we can't". You might even be able to leave it at that or it opens up the dialogue as to why.

Off to war against 10 second thinkers

How do you get someone who doesn't think, doesn't know and doesn't read/listen to stop/start them to do something?

Here's the scenario, a non-expert, tells you how to do something or what to do "I want you to change XYZ, and do it this way". And as the expert we know that's terrible for everybody, nobody wins except the ego of the instructor.

The list at the bottom of the page doesn't address this but it did inspire me to think about some of my own replies.

Show your work.
Like a maths problem, I feel like the question should be to question:

"How did you arrive at that answer? Like a maths problem please show your work, because the calculations could be correct, but the answer may not be".

No without saying no.
I've had this one in my head and probably on a blog post already but it's saying no without saying no - this is for those people who you don't know, they don't know you and they don't care about you or show any indication that they want to talk about anything.

"If I were to say no, what would happen next?"

What if the instructions were so weird, vague, or just plain wrong, maybe we can take the most simplest approach without saying no or questioning the judgement but get them forcibly to think about their choices actions by asking.
"How would that work?"
It's a beautiful line because it's so short but it puts all the work back on the other person who hasn't put any work in. what this might do is start a conversation to then use some of the lines above that don't seem so out of the blue, or it'll show they don't care, freeing you up to make your own choices, or even better, if they reply with something like "I don't know, your the expert" that's given you the window to say "as an expert XYZ" they've given you permission to challenge them. I feel like you 'win' either way and they are going to reveal their true colours, if they care, they'll care more, if they don't care, they will not care even more, if they are a spoilt brat, they'll become a spoilt brat more.

• Do the reading
• Show your work
• Avoid voices with a long track record of being wrong
• Ask, “and then what happens?”
• Ask, “how would that work?”
• Ignore people who make a living saying stupid things to attract attention
• Follow a path you’re eager and happy to take responsibility for
• Be prepared to change your mind when new data arrives
• Think hard about who profits and why they want you to believe something
• Consider the long-term impact of short-term thinking

Stop acting like an expert - unless you want to throw down?

 Maybe if we start with 'what we're an expert in' before we talk and negotiate might help set the boundaries of implied 'rights and responsibilities'.

Which help is more helpful?

There are two kinds of useful help.

The first kind, the common kind, is when someone helps you with advice or labor to accomplish what you’ve already set out to do.

The second kind, more rare and more useful, is when someone helps you realize that your original plan wasn’t as good as you thought it was, and helps you come up with a better one.

Which kind are you looking for?

Seth Godin

You think you're so smart, stop it!

 You think you're so smart, stop it!

How do you know when you're not good at something?

"I know what I'm good at and what I'm not"

Well if you think that, you're not very good at self assessment so listen up.

Dunning-Krugger effect, I talk about it a lot. It's easy to tell where others are on that graph then where you are on that graph.

I figured it out

Ask yourself "what do I not know?"

Any time you think you know something, know how to do it, know what you would do, ask yourself "what do I know that I do not know?"

It's really comforting. I'm really familiar with my line of work, I can tell you 50 things I know I don't know, and what I would need to do to know them, but most other areas of life, I can't even name one thing of substance if I'm being honest with myself. So even if I feel like I know what to do, this grounds me to realising there’s a lot I don’t even know I need to know. 

The ultimate ultimatum to someone with power over you

 The ultimate reply

The depth of understanding.

Tell me what you know you don't know, I'll learn where you're at and we can get down to work together.

Or you can not answer that and trust me and my depth of understanding.

I leave the choice to you.

Your mind may be lying to you and you don't even know it

 There's a difference between:

Struggling and failing

Pain and suffering

Hard for you and hard for everybody

Our differences make us the same

 Right wing is kind of... "I don't want things to change in ways that make life hard for me but I'll accept change if it makes it easier for me."

Left wing is kind of... "I want things to change in ways that make life easier for me but I'll keep things the same if suits me."

So aren't we all the same? We just want better lives, we just focus on how to do that differently.

But what the hell do I know.

You have a small window to invincible

 A focused young person is undefeatable.

Do you feel unloved?

February 14th… the love/hate day of the year… You are either reminded of what you have, or what you don't have.

We all have an internal desire not to just be loved, but also to be allowed to give love… When we miss an ex - we miss the right to love and be loved freely - we don't miss them/what made them become an ex. On this day, more people break up than any other day (according to Facebook). It's also the day that makes more people miserable than perhaps happy. Why? It forces us to be honest and real with ourselves, it makes us reflect on things we've avoided, thoughts we have buried and feelings we deny. If you are feeling lonely today, remember, you do have love in your life… from maybe a pet to maybe a parent - you can give love, you can bless others and I hope you receive love too! don't be afraid, you will find love… but love yourself first, learn how to be kind to yourself, "You only accept the love you think you deserve" so if you don't like yourself very much - you may never let in anyone enough to truly experience love and have trouble giving them love because you feel what you have is not enough… It is… if it's from the heart, from you and you meant it, it's enough! Learn your love language, (Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service) understand what makes you tick so you can help others love you in the way that speaks to you. 

Be brave… be honest… don't settle…. be kind… be you, because you are enough!

Are you sure you want the truth?

 https://youtu.be/cMOERBNV4G0

One sentence solution

 A one sentence solution is always shit. Because the time they took to say the sentence is the same amount of time they thought about it.

When someone doesn’t think, they’re accessing “instinct” which means is usually “I don’t see any problems here “ or “I can’t see any hope here”.

Here’s the exception if someone has been thinking about that question their whole life, that one sentence solution is the distilled wisdom of a million other sentences they’ve thought about.

How do you know when to quit your job?

Or to put it another way, how do you know if your souls stay in your job?

Checklist:

Money

Lifestyle

Stepping stones

Good at

Enjoy

Checklist questionnaire below answer with a general yes or general no to each point. (Not all questions in each category might be relevant to your circumstance)

Checklist questionnaire:

Money - Do you feel the money you get for what you do is fair? Does it allow you to be reasonably comfortable? Can you pay your bills?

Lifestyle - Does your work allow you to literally or metaphorically have a life? Do you live in an area you're ok with? Do you feel you can recover from a bad day or bad week at work? Can you switch off when you want to? Can you do personal actives outside of work when you reasonably want to? Are you happy with the time of day you work?

Stepping stones - Do you feel you can progress in your job? Does your job directly or indirectly give you opportunities to grow or get better at something that is valued or important? By being around others in your workplace are you gaining insight you are glad to be absorbing? Are you becoming better through osmosis? Are there paths to moving up or pivoting without much friction?

Good at - Does the job come easy to you? Do others seem to work harder than you but you get the same or better results? Do others in or outside the place of work praise you? Do you feel your job is a part of who you are (even if you don't enjoy it)? Can you teach others? Do you seem to know more than others around you?

Enjoy - Do you love the world your in? Is it easy to get out of bed or at least not painful? Do you do more than you have to, because you feel like it? Do you spend time getting better because it's important to you? Do you recover very very quickly after short rests away from work? Do you forget about bad days or weeks quickly? Would you miss the culture if you were to leave?

-------

Results!

If you get none or one, it's time to move on immediately. It might be better to leave without having another job lined up. Your fear holds you back but it's so easy to always slide into another terrible job - it won't be worse than what you already have.

Two or three. Start looking for a new job, there's better options out there. Don't put it off.

If you get four or five, don't leave! The grass is not greener somewhere else, at best it'll be different, not better.

And remember, things change, you and your work place. So come back and do the test again.

Comebacks to say to strangers

 I'm not sure how good hearted strangers on the internet are?

When strangers assign my intent and assume there worst, there's nothing good by staying.

I feel like anything they say is either "You're different to me and I don't like it. Or "you're doing 'good' wrong."

I think maybe that's the reply, like there's nothing you can say or do so maybe hold up the mirror, not even to win, but to earn respect from the onlookers before walking away.

I'm thinking about thinking

 If you've spent a long time thinking about something, that earns your the right to be heard. Freedom of speech is not freedom of reach, but by thinking about what you have to say for a really long time, the ability of reach becomes much more likely.