Why is the internet so mean?

Gurinder - I suspect many are abusive online because they are lonely, and half-consciously hope you’ll respond to their insults by fighting with them, because that would be a validating acknowledgement of their existence. To those desperate for recognition, even a slap can feel like a caress.

Me. That's what happens with many children. Attention and acknowledgment to them is more important than being ignored. Even at the cost of negative attention and negative outcomes. Natural selection and evolution  facilitated this. Imagine children constantly going on their own, disconnecting from core people. They know unconsciously it's a matter of survival.

What's dumb today might have been smart in the past

 Don't think the past is stupid based on standards today. Many things had a reason to be that way back then and just because you don't see it nor care doesn't change the fact.

https://youtube.com/shorts/86aeL6xY0PQ?si=GzZ4vZY9KT_pwHgr

One day people will judge your past based on the standards of that day too.

Some jobs you need to give more than you're paid

 My first Phelps thought spoken aloud and converted into text, then synthesized into something more readable worthy.

Summary: The concept revolves around the notion of delayed gratification in career paths like modeling or sports. These fields require a substantial investment of time, effort, and sometimes money, with no immediate return. This trade-off exists because of the perceived benefits, be they glamour, creativity, or flexibility. The same dynamic extends to other industries as well. The attractiveness of a job, even if only from an outsider's perspective, often demands extra, unpaid work or preparation.

In careers like modeling or sports, it's understood that professionals don't simply "show up" to succeed. They invest in their bodies, train rigorously, and often begin without immediate financial reward. This is a form of delayed gratification: enduring a present hardship for a future benefit.

Similarly, in many businesses or industries, the kind of work you do often comes with its own set of trade-offs. If your role is more creative, interesting, or "glamorous," it might not pay as well initially, and will probably require you to continue honing your skills outside of work hours. The allure or external perception of such jobs adds another layer to this dynamic. Jobs that seem enviable from the outside may demand sacrifices that aren't immediately obvious.

People are willing to go through these hardships because they see value in the future rewards—monetary or otherwise—or because the field itself aligns with their interests or provides other intangible benefits like satisfaction or flexibility. 

This unspoken agreement of delayed gratification becomes a path, encouraged by managers and the industry at large, to attain the high levels of skill or proficiency needed for success. It mirrors the world of modeling or sports, where the top 1% might get all the glory, but many work hard even without reaching those heights, fueled by their own sets of motivations.

Invisible dark mother power

Mother dark triad

Judgement

Shame

Bouts of anger

Works better on the typical girl than the typical boy.

Your problem has already been solved...

W. Edwards Deming,

 “If you have a problem, the chances are excellent that it has been solved by someone, somewhere, sometime, and that the solution is out there waiting for you to find it.”

Is it really a mess?

 It's not mess, it's organised chaos.

When do you know which is which? There's order within including emotions despite the look on the outside or to others.

They will kill you - UPFs

I stopped eating food that is engineered to be consumed to excess.

UPF (Ultra Processed Food) is gaslighting our bodies.

It's not food, it's an industrially produced edible substance.

Letting children decide their discipline?

 "She knew what she needed in order to feel better"

Letting it's choose their own consequences for undesirable actions - letting them own it.

Something interesting to read

https://www.romper.com/p/i-let-my-daughter-choose-her-own-consequences-for-a-week-heres-what-happened-5832

Attacked from all sides? Centrist one liners

Left leaning? Right leaning? Just different? Neither? Both?

How do you know you're in the centre? Both sides hate you equally.

Here's my catch all moments

1. Zero sum ideology

2. 5 donkeys

3. I believe in your God, I won't go to your church

4. Comparing our best to their worst divides us more

5. This is my hypothesis...

1. When people start to defend or attack the otherside in absolutes with disregard of balance and neuance.

"Zero sum ideology"

Just repeat. No one is changing their minds today.

2. When people criticise you for doing or not doing something

"5 donkeys"

Just repeat. No one will know what it means but they also don't care, it's for me. No one is changing their minds today. The 5 donkeys is actually 4 where a card of 4 different scenarios. The 5th was added as an absurdity people carrying the donkey trying to follow the previous 4 criticisms. It's attached or search 4 donkeys judging people.

3. When you agree with the sentiment, purpose or just the general idea but completely against things like ideals, execution, motivation or emotions.

"I believe in your God, I won't go to your church"

Repeat for my sake even if they don't get it.

4. "Comparing our best to their worst divides us more"

It's a way of supporting the side I'm talking to and even their argument (I'm on their side) but I'm disapproving of their self righteous attitude (holier than thou).

5. When stating either an opinion or what you believe to be fact, start it with "this is my hypothesis". That makes the rest more credible ironically, you don't have to prove it to be true and you're not saying you're correct because you're allowed to start somewhere with thoughts and that's what the following is...

You may be in the right, but...

 Anger separates

Power is hiding behind cancel

 If you want to know where real power lies in a community - who can't you criticise? What conversation can't you have and who decided that?

It's free money that doesn't cost money

 Charming is a similar currency to money.

I wonder if we focus on money because it's an observable metric while charming is an hidden metric?

Why do we want money? In part do we can do things, have things, achieve things, but can't being charming and liked also unlock some of those doors? 

So what is charming? It's making others feel good about themselves?

Perhaps we can spend a bit more time and energy on making charm than making money?

You shouldn't be left or right wing

 No one really seems to like their representative officials (for long anyway) yet why do we class ourselves based on a political grading system (Left-Right)?

Laugh at politicians, serious comedy

 I've known about this line for a while "we used to laugh at comedians and take our politicians seriously but now we laugh at our politicians and take our comedians seriously"

I couldn't figure out why exactly - hypothesis: ce comedians are (by accident or design) brave, and they need to look deeply at the world for their craft. While significant numbers of politicians aren't brave based on their need for party and constituents acceptance. The culture is also more about how they appear rather than what you know. So one is brave and knowledgeable, the other is afraid and lost in their goals.

When a strong negative feeling comes...

"What is that feeling telling me?"

What else?

This feels true but evolution may argue

A women commented that there's more expected of girls when they're younger. That feels true, but is it?

Hypothesis: Significant numbers of girls become hyperaware at puberty (100,000 years of natural selection) they're not pushed more, they just listen and take seriously the pushing - judgmental and safer going with the group feel important. Significant number of boys are reckless, in their own world, trying to outdo (compete), experimental warrior (100,000 years of natural selection) because men are disposable based on evolution, if 10 men take risks and 1 man's risk pays off, many in the tribe benifit (in its most historic primative forms; hunting and war). Significant numbers of women default to low risk to maintain and grow (heal), men default to high risk high reward (kill or be killed).

You don't have to like it or think it's good, we are the sum of mankind today and evolution is slow. And a part of mankind is you can choose to do something different to your evolution (but few do).

Instinct or paranoia?

Intuition has an very unemotional feel to it.

Supercharged feels aren't intuition, it's fear in disguise.

A gut feeling does not feel like a huge emotional charge.

Those people who do bad things but plead innocent

 Intention is not mitigation.