How do you get someone who doesn't think, doesn't know and doesn't read/listen to stop/start them to do something?
Here's the scenario, a non-expert, tells you how to do something or what to do "I want you to change XYZ, and do it this way". And as the expert we know that's terrible for everybody, nobody wins except the ego of the instructor.
The list at the bottom of the page doesn't address this but it did inspire me to think about some of my own replies.
Show your work.
Like a maths problem, I feel like the question should be to question:
"How did you arrive at that answer? Like a maths problem please show your work, because the calculations could be correct, but the answer may not be".
No without saying no.
I've had this one in my head and probably on a blog post already but it's saying no without saying no - this is for those people who you don't know, they don't know you and they don't care about you or show any indication that they want to talk about anything.
"If I were to say no, what would happen next?"
What if the instructions were so weird, vague, or just plain wrong, maybe we can take the most simplest approach without saying no or questioning the judgement but get them forcibly to think about their choices actions by asking.
"How would that work?"
It's a beautiful line because it's so short but it puts all the work back on the other person who hasn't put any work in. what this might do is start a conversation to then use some of the lines above that don't seem so out of the blue, or it'll show they don't care, freeing you up to make your own choices, or even better, if they reply with something like "I don't know, your the expert" that's given you the window to say "as an expert XYZ" they've given you permission to challenge them. I feel like you 'win' either way and they are going to reveal their true colours, if they care, they'll care more, if they don't care, they will not care even more, if they are a spoilt brat, they'll become a spoilt brat more.
- Do the reading
- Show your work
- Avoid voices with a long track record of being wrong
- Ask, “and then what happens?”
- Ask, “how would that work?”
- Ignore people who make a living saying stupid things to attract attention
- Follow a path you’re eager and happy to take responsibility for
- Be prepared to change your mind when new data arrives
- Think hard about who profits and why they want you to believe something
- Consider the long-term impact of short-term thinking
